Earth Husbands are Odd (Earth Fathers #2) - Lyn Gala Page 0,54

my family with a maintenance hook. I wanted a defense that would have less likelihood of me ending up dead. Can I ask a question of someone who is in the room?”

The judge’s table stopped, and he had to shift around so he faced Max. Max got the feeling that this was not how it was supposed to work in this part of the universe. Tough shit. “On my planet, a trial like this often includes people asking each other questions. Can I do that?”

“Who would you ask a question of?” the judge asked.

“Tribes Xena.”

“What question would you ask?” The judge seemed to push his lips out even farther, which elongated all the nostrils along the side of his nose and made him look sillier.

“I want her to describe her impressions of me when we worked together.”

“That is not a question.”

Damn logical aliens. “Did I seem to know what I was doing with weapons? Better?” Max stomped down on his temper before he said something that would earn him a contempt charge in a human court.

The judge’s table began to rotate slowly again, and Max took his seat. Every court show he’d ever watched said that a lawyer should never ask a question he didn’t know the answer to, but these assholes would never believe a word out of his mouth. They had already dismissed him as an idiot. He needed a character witness, one that the rest of the universe thought was pretty. When the judge swiveled toward Xena, she stood.

For a time, she was silent, and bile pressed at the base of Max’s stomach. He couldn’t defend Rick from a prison cell. What would happen to him if the authorities took their ship? Rick and the kids would be stranded here, surrounded by people who hated them. If Xena didn’t tell the truth, Max didn’t know how to convince these guys that he was competent to take the blame for his own actions.

“Human Max adequately explained the function of two different modifications to energy weapons, both of which will increase lethality. He also adequately explained the function of defensive garments he offered to sell and he identified weaknesses in the security of our ship and helped to design remediation plans.” She sat so quickly that her hat flopped even though it was much smaller than Carrington’s. Hopefully her testimony didn’t create a problem with her boss, but Max couldn’t care about that right now. Before the judge could swing back around to face him, Kohei stood.

Max held his breath. Better Kohei than Rick, but this was still the stuff of nightmares.

“I saw Human Max Father testing many weapons. He worked often with Ugly Xander Sibling. He brought human theories of weapon design to designs in the archives of the ship of Ugly Rick Father.” He sat.

As much as Max knew that Kohei was playing it smart, Max hated hearing Kohei refer to family like that. They weren’t ugly. Not even a little. They were graceful and beautiful and annoying, but never ugly. Max clenched his teeth and wished the judge were facing him. Instead the table stopped. No one stood. No one spoke. But the judge faced the far side of the room and the table did not budge.

Was the judge ready to make a decision? This felt arbitrary. Max hadn’t gotten to say half the things he wanted to. But Rick and Kohei stayed seated. Max had to follow their lead because he had no idea what was going on.

He was going to research every fucking judicial process on every fucking planet when this was over. He hoped he wouldn’t be locked in a cell while he did it, but according to television, researching legal cases was standard fare for the unjustly condemned. And television never lied.

Aliens shifted on their benches, some scooting sideways to get out of the judge’s view. Ah. He was looking at the Hunters.

The larger one stood. “One ship of law-breakers reported that humans are irrational and dangerous when offspring are in danger.” It sat. The judge remained motionless. Alien spectators inched away. The Hunters sat. It was the world’s strangest standoff with silence being the major weapon. Max didn’t understand why the judge assumed these Hunters would know about a pirate ship of Hunters, but then again, the universe focused on certain assumptions, like people didn’t go to war against their own species. So maybe other species stuck together more than humans.

If so, the universe was in for a shock when humanity