Earth Husbands are Odd (Earth Fathers #2) - Lyn Gala Page 0,38

anywhere, even if he wanted to.

“I’m tired after dealing with Carrington. Maybe we can talk about this later.” He smiled at Rick.

“Later scent is gone. Query. Carrington caused ugly scent.” Rick was upset enough that he trumpeted out a string of untranslatable words that Max assumed were profanities. He had an image of Rick, all outraged, stiff tentacles taking a swing at Carrington. It wouldn’t end well.

Max wrapped his fingers around the closest tentacles. “Hey, this has nothing to do with her. I am remembering the people who died because the Nish tried to dodge around a tiny planet in an unused corner of the galaxy to escape capture. It’s just all so stupid, and good people died because of that stupidity.”

“Earth is perfectly normal-sized.” Rick had a solemnity that made Max snort laughter so hard that he hurt his nose. He felt as if he’d snorted pool water, and Rick hadn’t even said anything funny. Rick tightened his tentacles.

“I miss those guys. Dan-Dan was a shy guy. The nicknames we used, we did this weird opposite thing, so we called him Dan-Dan the man. He couldn’t talk to girls without forgetting his own name, so how he got a woman to marry him... none of us understood. He had a two-year-old girl at home. He had punched out of his jet when a Nish ship tore through his parachute.” Max closed his eyes as his mouth tried to twist into ugly shapes. He fought back the urge to cry. “And Ditzy Dee—she was a damn good pilot. Always had her nose in a book.” Rage washed through, erasing the pain. The fucking Nish and the fucking police chasing them. Good people had died because they hadn’t cared about the people of Earth.

The whole universe was full of assholes who never considered other points of view. Giant fucking assholes.

Rick tugged on Max’s arm. “What inappropriate nickname did they call you?” Rick asked.

Again, an involuntary snort of laughter escaped Max. “Mad Max,” he admitted.

Rick and the kids had seen the movie, and Rick probably considered it more appropriate than the guys back on Earth had. They’d seen him as quiet, polite—on the masculine side of effeminate, but not by much. He remembered Dan asking him where to get a custom tux and a male manicure. He’d assumed Max would know. At the time Max had assumed the guy was being an asshole and stereotyping the only semi-open gay guy in the unit. Now... now Max regretted every second he lost not appreciating the people he’d had in his life.

Max didn’t have the vocabulary to explain any of that. “They saw me as kind and a bit soft,” Max explained. “I trained to kill, but I was not the sort of man who wanted to kill. I still don’t want to kill, but I will. But the fact that I am less violent does not mean I am less male.”

“Humans weird.”

“I can't argue with you there, buddy.”

Rick pulled him closer, pressing their bodies together. Rick was smaller, but Max still leaned into him. For a short octopus, he was sturdy because he held Max’s weight and even tightened his hold. They stood leaning into each other for a long time before Max started pulling back, struggling to get his balance—physically and emotionally.

“Query. Do you consider me male or female or neither or both?” Rick asked.

Max was relieved at the change of topic. “I guess I consider you male.”

“Query. Reason.”

Shaking free of Rick’s tentacles, Max looked around. They were outside the door that led to the private quarters. “I suppose because I'm sexually attracted to males and I am sexually attracted to you. Therefore, I see you as male,” Max opened the door and headed into the soothing colors of the family section of the ship. “I think some of that also has to do with your inability to carry young.”

Rick blew raspberries, and Max turned to poke a finger in his direction.

“Let me be very clear. That does not make me female. Nope. Not even a little. Don't go there.”

“None of my species has capacity to carry eggs of young.”

“Then I would think of your entire species as a planet of males.” Males with very talented tentacles, which would inspire a whole lot of porn if people on Earth ever found out. “Query. Do you see yourself as male or female?” Max asked. It only now occurred to him that he had never asked the question before. If Rick saw himself as