Earth Husbands are Odd (Earth Fathers #2) - Lyn Gala Page 0,27
brothers do not have cooties. Now the rest of the universe, I'm fairly sure they do. You know how you were asking me about bullies? They are bullies. They have bully cooties.”
Xander tilted his head. “They do not inspire fear. I can be in a room with them without wanting to run away.”
“Really?” Max asked. “If I hadn't been there, would you have stayed in a room with all of those judgmental, rude people?”
“If Max Father had not been there, there would be no reason for me to be there.” Xander had annoyingly perfect logic while still managing to miss the point.
“Query. Do you need compensation?”
“Currently, I do not. I am satisfied to remain with Rick Father and Max Father within immediate future. I would stay for when younger brothers appear.”
Damn. That conversation took an unexpected turn rather quickly. Tabling the discussion of future children, Max returned to his main point. “Your father is afraid that he will not receive compensation for his work. They use fear to take something from him and better their own trading. That makes them bullies.”
“In contrary, Rick Father accepts lower compensation that is natural. He has no fear, therefore they do not bully.”
Max was seeing red so strongly that he had to take a deep breath before he yelled at his kid. He knew that Xander was being logical from a certain completely fucked-up point of view; however, he was not going to let his children accept an unfair universe. It was better to go down fighting than let bullies get away with bullying without a single protest.
“No, he only thinks it's natural,” Max said. “They have bullied the Hidden People for so long that people accept the bullying. But that embargo on your home planet was intended to create fear and make the people change their behavior.”
“They hoped fear of lack of compensation would make Hidden People unhide the Hidden Planet,” Xander said.
“Exactly. So they are using fear, only there’s this weird acceptance, and I don’t accept anyone hurting my family.”
“Which implies they are a threat and you feel justified in the use of violence,” Xander said.
Max blew out a breath. He wasn’t sure how Xander could be so right and so brilliantly wrong at the same time. “They are a threat to compensation, so I counter their threat with an attack on compensation.”
Xander’s tentacles waved. “I comprehend.”
Max had learned that when it came to the children, or any pseudo-octopus members of the family, it was best to double check comprehension. “What do you comprehend?”
“Clarify. I comprehend Max Father fears his family will not receive compensation and respect. That means the others bully Max Father, and that is wrong. You should commit compensation violence against them.” With that, Xander uncurled his tentacle and turned the speed up on the cart so it bounced down the walk toward the distant ship.
“That’s not what I said,” Max called, but Xander simply waved a few tentacles without slowing the cart.
Children. Max wondered if the human variety were as difficult to raise. If so, he owed his mother flowers and about a fuck-ton of good chocolate.
Chapter Ten
Rick was not waiting inside the door. Kohei and James were. Xander might have been the tallest brother, but Kohei was starting to develop thick tentacles.
The second Max closed the outer door to the ship, James was tangling around Max’s legs. “Max Father. The compensation was much highly!” James sang happily. “Others like my weapons!”
“Of course they did.” Max stepped over the clump of tentacles and excited offspring under his feet. “You make wonderful weapons. I’ve told you this.”
“James’s weapon changes are not James’s alone,” Kohei said. “Max Father gives idea.”
“I work math!” James trumpeted.
“I able to math. Idea is more valuable,” Kohei retorted.
Max felt as though he’d stepped back in time to a sibling fight between him and Petey, only now Max was playing the role of mother. “Hey, be nice to each other! Kohei, James has a right to be proud of his work. The weapon is his as much as mine, and he never said I didn’t work with him.” James drew himself up a little taller, so Max shook a finger at him. “And you, young sir, need to share credit. Not only did I work with you, but Xander is risking himself to help run this con, so you have to give him credit too. And I know you had him check your math several times.”
James shrank back down, which inspired entire boat-loads of guilt. Parenting