Earth Husbands are Odd (Earth Fathers #2) - Lyn Gala Page 0,14

them. He was playing a con of his own. At least, that was what Max would have assumed if a human was trying to split a partnership. Max leaned against the computer and rested his hand on his weapon. “My people would congratulate him. In fact, we do tend to claim territory preemptively, sometimes when someone else is already standing on it. Don't look for me to get upset because the rest of the universe can't figure out how to get around their security system.”

The trader whistled, and the computer translated with a whispered, “Fuck you.” He then spoke louder. “I will not trade with Hidden, Ugly People. If I do, I will not have any customers. I need compensation beyond one trade.”

“But what if your customers didn't know that a product came from one of the Hidden People? What if they believe the product came from a previously underestimated species that had been grossly misunderstood?” Max smiled and tapped the screen on Rick’s tablet.

“You are not genius to create this.”

“We could tell people I was.”

“That would be untruthful.”

“I’m okay telling a lie, especially when the people I’m lying to have mistreated my husband.” Max held his breath. This was it. Either this trader helped him or he threw them out. Or he reported them, and what they were attempting to do was illegal. That was a possibility.

The trader looked at each of them, but his gaze settled on Max. “You wish to lie to entire universe.”

“Yep.”

Another fluting curse followed, but this time the computer didn’t translate it. Max waited as the trader seemed to debate with himself. Rick slid to Max’s side and wrapped a tentacle around Max’s waist. “You have a square head,” Rick said softly. It took Max a second to realize Rick had called him polonium-headed, although he had been nice enough to leave out the poop reference.

“Other traders will not believe moron species can write this,” the trader said.

He wanted to do this. Max gave a verbal push. “I bet you could convince them.”

“No.” The trader curled his fingers into a fist. “I desire the power to lie to others, but there will be too many questions. I cannot answer questions.”

“I can,” Max said. “With Rick’s help at least. If you work with me, I can convince your customers that I created this, and then you can pay me full price.”

The room went silent. Rick didn’t give a single burp, but his tentacles were drawn up into curled balls. That sent arrows of guilt straight to Max’s gut, but he was doing this for Rick, so he ignored the feeling. Instead, he focused on the trader. They needed the man’s connections, and they needed help setting up this scheme; however, whether he would help was up in the air. Max prayed that greed was as strong of a motivation for aliens as it was for humans, and he added a second prayer that the program was as valuable as Rick thought. There was something perverse about praying for help with lying and cheating the law, but if that was what it took, Max would do it.

After a long silence, the trader said, “How good are your people at lying?”

Max grinned. “We’re champions. No one lies better.” Rick’s tentacles balled up tighter, and the trader whistled, but Max could already tell this con was a go.

Chapter Five

The trader escorted them up a long ramp into what looked like either a living space or a more posh office. Wide windows overlooked the docks, and their ship squatted in the distance. Despite the fact that the five of them rattled around in the huge space, the ship was one of the smaller ones lined up along the boardwalk. A swarm of small ground vehicles was pulling another vessel back to the launch pad, and it dwarfed theirs.

“Reasoning moron people,” the trader said once the door closed behind the three of them. Rick’s tentacles tightened around Max’s wrist.

“Are we back to the poor translations?” Max asked.

Rick spoke. “Computer of human matrix lacks connection.”

Ah. That was the problem. The trader touched a table and a familiar console rose out of the center. “There!” The trader said.

Rick slowly released Max’s arm and carried the computer over to the console to reconnect the human translation matrix Max had worked on so many hours to the fancy-dancy business communication facilitator. Max triggered a personal recording device he kept on him for those times when he needed to record language and work on the