Earth Fathers Are Weird (Earth Fathers #1) - Lyn Gala Page 0,30
I'm about to poop on you.”
Rick’s calm, “That is highly unlikely,” was oddly comforting. However, Max had suffered some pretty gnarly diarrhea lately.
A cramp rippled through his stomach and he cried out as something wet flowed down the back of his legs. “Oh, shit.”
“It is not shit. It is nutrient fluid absorbed from the swimming.”
Max struggled to look over his shoulder. “I absorbed the pool water?” Rick had a tentacle all the way up Max’s ass, and if it weren’t for the horrific pain, Max would have considered the image some nice wank material, right up there with Sherlock and John getting themselves handcuffed together before going on the run from the law.
“Clarification. The offspring absorbed fluid and created a nutrient pouch. But the membrane has ruptured and the offspring must come out.”
Max mentally translated that to his water had broken. Then he arched his back as another series of cramps seized his body so he couldn't speak. One of Rick's tentacles slid across his face, cooling him.
“They better come out soon.”
“They will can. I regret the pain my offspring cause.” Rick hesitated. “I regret the pain I caused in overfeeding my offspring.”
“As long as everyone separates without anyone being torn in half, we can call it good. Now please help them out.”
Rick went to the wall, his tentacle slipping almost all the way out of Max’s body. Despite Max’s earlier comment, his cock did notice that. Luckily another cramp hit before the moronic organ could do something that would humiliate him. The air over Max shimmered before displaying alien text that floated in space.
Rick returned, and Max gasped as the tentacle pushed back inside. “The largest offspring is nearly out now.”
“Oh shit.” The pressure against Max’s asshole was like nothing he'd ever felt before. Skin stretched and stung and muscles strained until every instinct Max possessed told him to push. But his butt was not a vagina. Max suspected that pushing would do serious damage, so he fought the urge and forced his legs to relax. “Hurry up.”
“The first offspring is bulky.”
“I do realize that.” Max’s voice first rose to an unmanly squeak and then broke. He had to take a deep breath before continuing. “However, I can't control my muscles forever.”
“Query. Clarify control muscles.”
Max’s ass burned like the first time he'd experimented with a butt plug and hadn't known that if a young idiot left it in and allowed the lube to get absorbed, pulling it back out would become an exercise in masochism. “Clarification. I want to bear down and tighten all the muscles around the obstruction. I’m thinking that’s a human reaction to having something too large pass through. Just clench the muscles and it all gets compacted tighter.” Max had no idea if that was true or not, but it seemed plausible because his body was screaming at him to clench hard.
“I shall endeavor to expedite the offspring,” Rick said. He pushed his tentacle in, and Max squealed. “Observe. Offspring is nearly past the last bend.” Rick changed the holographic image above Max. It now showed a grayscale close up of his intestines, but there was a small, round head with huge eyes, undulating its way down the lower part of Max’s large intestine. Stubby little tentacles allowed it to crawl forward. Kohei.
“He has your head,” Max said.
“He possesses his own appendages,” Rick responded.
Max honestly didn't know whether that was a translation failure or Rick’s sense of humor. Sometimes it was difficult to tell. However, he broke out in near-hysterical giggles. He was a fucking officer and fighter pilot, but he couldn’t seem to stop fucking giggling. Kohei looked like a little stuffed toy version of an octopus, but the sight of that bulbous little creature crawling its way toward freedom gave Max the strength to breathe through the pain and ignore his instincts.
The scanner caught the edge of another little tentacle, and Rick reduced the magnification. A second offspring wriggled much more quickly than his bulbous brother. And then he spotted the third one. It was half the size of the middle sibling, and it appeared to be swimming in the fluid around his medium-sized brother rather than crawling. That was not good. If it still had room to swim, it had to be tiny.
“Query. Can you stop the third offspring?” Max asked.
Rick’s tentacles curled. “I cannot reach past Offspring One to touch Offspring Three. To save Offspring Three would require dismembering Offspring One.”
Max closed his eyes and let his head thunk onto the