Earl's Well That Ends Well (The Way to a Lord's Heart #5) - Jane Ashford Page 0,89
really listened to him. She just refused and refused until she decided to insult him by classing him with that blackguard who’d mistreated her. By God, he was nothing like that wretched man! How could she imagine… She’d practically offered him a slip on the shoulder!
A harsh laugh escaped him. There could be no other woman like her in the world. He loved everything about her—except her ridiculous reasons for refusing to marry him. She thought they were telling, yes. He saw that. But he did not agree.
Arthur looked around and found that he’d reached familiar precincts. He was not too far from home. He turned toward it.
An acquaintance passed and greeted him with a nod and a touch to his hat brim. Arthur strove for his habitual calm as he returned the salutation. And in that commonplace moment, it occurred to him that Teresa must care a great deal for him. She would never have offered to return to the position she’d hated in Spain, of her own free will, for anything less than…love?
The relief that coursed through him then nearly tripped him up. She loved him! She wanted him so much she was willing to offer this! Rather than plodding along the pavement, he suddenly felt as if he was floating.
Then he came back down to Earth. If she truly loved him, why not just marry him? Couldn’t she see… But she couldn’t. Arthur stood still as things she’d told him, reactions he’d observed, a whole panoply that made up her point of view came together in his mind. It was like turning from a panoramic view and finding a chasm inches from one’s toes.
This fear she had of ruining him was ground into her soul. She’d been a sheltered girl, reeling from the murders of her family, when that thrice-damned blackguard had taken her. He’d played on her grief and terror, made her plight seem worse than it was perhaps. Yet it was true that there was no human creature more easily disgraced than an unprotected young lady, as society saw things. The strictures that hemmed them round!
But he was a mature man with a prominent position in the world, and a peer to boot. It was not fair, but he was not nearly so easy to ruin. Nearly impossible in fact. What could the gossips do to him? They might titter and whisper, but he would still be among them. His life would be comfortable and effective even with a scandalous wife. And if people tried to snub her, he would make them sorry. He’d enjoy it! Arthur imagined crushing the pretentions of anyone who offered to snub Teresa. If one had position and power one could…
He felt a brush of shame. That would be acting like the kind of nobleman she despised. He would not do it. He wanted to make her proud.
People were glancing at him as they passed, wondering why he was standing stock-still on the cobbles. Arthur started walking again. And thinking. Teresa was transfixed by this idea of ruin. She thought he would feel it as keenly as she had, when it came to him. But he wouldn’t. And it wouldn’t. How could he convince her of this?
His love was not a woman to be talked around. He knew that. So, it would have to be actions. He would have to show her. First, that he meant what he said; he didn’t care two pins about the opinion of society. And second, that their pointing fingers would not have the same effect on the Earl of Macklin.
But how to show her? What could he do? He was ready for anything. She’d made a tremendous sacrifice when she suggested being his mistress. He could do no less. He was ready to offer up his dignity, his social prominence, for her. Arthur walked faster and racked his brain.
The silly pranks of society’s young bloods would not do. If he began boxing the watch or downing tumblers of blue ruin or racing his curricle through the London streets, society would merely think he was growing senile. And those sorts of antics were not enough. Most laughed at them. They certainly did not rise to the level of ruin as Teresa would see it. At the other end of the spectrum, the behavior of scum like Lord Simon Farange was out of the question, obviously. What lay between these two? And had he actually never tried to plan a bit of public mischief before?