Earl of Gold (Lords of Scandal #7) - Tammy Andresen Page 0,28

dam of emotions that he’d so carefully tucked away. And once he started, how much would he say?

Would he confess that he cared deeply? That she had the power to break him into a thousand tiny pieces? He couldn’t. He wasn’t ready. “However angry you are with me, it doesn’t change the fact that I can make all your lives better and safer. Please allow me to do this for you and for them.”

His words were met with complete silence.

Was that good or bad?

She’d stopped yelling but somehow Logan wasn’t certain that she had agreed.

“Please.” He leaned forward again, scooting to the edge of his seat. He didn’t reach for her hands this time but instead touched her knee. “You’ve every right to be angry with me.”

“You kissed me,” she blurted. “When all I am to you is an obstacle to overcome in order to gain a seedy club. You knew how I felt about men using me and yet you…”

He closed his eyes. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t help myself.” He cleared his throat, part of him wanting to admit everything. That he’d already made his choice. Penny. But once he’d told her, he’d have to admit he was falling in love. He couldn’t. Once he’d said it, there’d be no taking the words back.

“That is the worst excuse I’ve ever heard.”

“You kissed me back,” he said, tossing himself back into the seat. “What’s your excuse?”

“I—” The single word cut through the air. “Have been nothing but clear as to what I gained from this relationship. You are the one who’s been duplicitous.”

“That’s not entirely true.” He shook his head as though she might see the gesture. “I never lied to you about my motives.”

“But your actions made me think you cared about us. About the kids.”

“I do care,” he said, so low that he wondered if she heard him. He swallowed the lump in his throat. “I didn’t at first. But somewhere along the way…”

He heard her intake of breath as the carriage began to slow and then rolled to a stop.

He made to open the door, but she reached out a hand to stop him. “The world was hard on me.”

He clasped her hand in his. “I know that.”

“I had parents that loved me and taught me how to love in return.” She leaned closer. “But Natty and Fran, they’ve never been taught. That’s my job and it’s one I take very seriously.”

He nodded. “I understand.”

“You don’t.” She reached up and touched his face. “You can’t enter their lives and change your mind later, Logan. They need consistency and unwavering belief. If you’re not here to stay then you shouldn’t be here at all. They’re too fragile and I won’t allow you to make their lives worse.”

And then she snapped the door open herself and climbed out of the carriage on her own.

Logan sat there for a moment, her words echoing in his thoughts.

But he’d already made his choice. He’d given up the club for Penny and for the girls too. He was helping them, damn it. And he’d make their lives better if it killed him.

And so, he snapped the door open once again and began to follow.

He caught sight of three men standing down the street, watching, but they didn’t approach, and so Logan paid them no mind. He had enough on his plate with one very angry woman.

Penny had reached the top of the steps and he took them two at a time to catch up to her. “Wait,” he called as she pulled the knocker on the door. “There is more that I need to tell you.” He had to find the words. Because she needed them and this was not about his fears but her needs. He drew in a deep breath. He could tell her he’d given up the club without spilling his entire heart on the floor, couldn’t he?

She spun about. “I think I’ve heard enough for one evening.”

The door lock clicked, and the door swung open.

“You’re here,” Clarissa breathed a sigh of relief, holding a crying Natty in her arms. “I didn’t expect you so early and yet I am incredibly grateful.”

“What’s wrong?” Penny asked, stepping into the room.

“She’s had another nightmare. Woke up screaming at full volume.” Clarissa passed the crying child into Penny’s arms.

Penny shushed Natty as Logan closed and bolted the door behind him. He was here to help. He just had to convince Penny of that fact.

Penny held Natty, glad for the distraction.

She wanted to focus