Dumplin - Julie Murphy Page 0,12

I can hear. But he smiles, and it’s hard not to feel like I’ve swallowed a handful of rocks. I don’t get why we call it a crush when it feels more like a curse.

The bell above the door rings, and in walk Millie and her friend Amanda with the corrective Frankenstein shoes. Millie wears a light yellow T-shirt and shorts set with little heart-shaped gems glued to the collar of her top. I wish there was a way for me to tell her all the ways she makes her life harder than it needs to be without me coming off as a bitch.

Her forehead is damp with sweat, but her smile is unflinching. “Oh, hey, Will! I didn’t know you worked here.”

Amanda nods, appearing to be quite impressed. She wears soccer shorts and a T-shirt with a picture of her little brother in his Little League uniform silk-screened to the chest. Like the type of shirt you see parents wear to their kids’ big games.

“I bet you get tons of free food,” Amanda says, and hikes her thumb back toward where Bo stands in the dining room. “And the sights aren’t so bad either.”

I shake my head, trying not to laugh. “Uh, yeah. I do all right.”

They take their order to go, and Amanda hangs back for a little too long to check out Bo as he walks to the kitchen.

I take my break after Marcus and Bo. When I open my locker to grab my lip balm, I find a red sucker. It’s one of those fancy ones that sits in the wooden stand at the grocery store checkout. I twist my lips back and forth for a moment before sliding it into my pocket, trying hard to play it cool in case he’s somehow watching.

When I was a kid, we used to decorate shoe boxes at school and use them as Valentine’s Day mailboxes. We’d leave them on our desks all day. I never liked for anyone to see me check my box. It wasn’t that I was scared of not getting any valentines. Everyone gave each other cards. It was required. But it was that I always hoped for more. I wanted to be the girl with a special card signed Your Secret Admirer.

It may not be a note in a shoe box, but it still makes my heart feel like it’s made of springs.

As I unwrap the sucker, I think about texting Ellen, but turn my phone facedown when I can’t decide what to say. I slump down in my chair and savor my candy. She could be having sex right now. She could be an official non-virgin and I wouldn’t even know it.

I wonder if she talked to Callie after I left. She’s probably done it. She’d know what to say to El. After I finish my sucker, I chuck the stick and the wrapper in the trash can. I stuff my phone in my bra and as I’m passing through the kitchen, my boobs buzz. I stop right there to check my phone before I go up front.

ELLEN: kinda nervous. will call you later.

ELLEN: like, after.

ME: you’re going to be a total sex kitten. meoooooow.

ELLEN: you’re the best. maybe I can stay over tonight at your house and talk. xo

My sticky lips break into a faint grin. I look up to see Bo staring at me as I put my phone back in my bra, only to realize two seconds too late how awkward it might look to be stuffing your hand down your shirt in front of the guy you like.

I’ve been stared at a lot in my life. Enough to know that when someone gets caught staring, instinct says to look away. But Bo keeps on lookin’, like he’s got nothing to be ashamed of.

Color floods my cheeks. I wipe the back of my hand across my lips and start my closing duties up front.

Ron lets Marcus leave a few minutes early at the end of the night because Tiffanie is waiting and she’s pissed about something. Sitting in his office, Ron finishes the end of the night paperwork while Bo mops up the kitchen and I scrub down all the countertops.

“Watch out,” he says. “I just mopped behind you.”

I step lightly, careful not to slip, and wash the grease from my hands using the big industrial sink.

All my jobs are done, but I find myself keeping busy while Bo finishes the floors. I fill the sink for him so that