The Duke's Wife (The Three Mrs #3) - Jess Michaels Page 0,35
head. “Because I do like touching you and kissing you and all those other things. And that is frightening. I don’t want to ever be dependent on another person like I was with Erasmus. I never want anyone else to ever have the power to destroy me as he did over the years.”
“I don’t want that, either,” he said. “I’ve seen what affection can do, or lack thereof. The thought of opening oneself up that way is not of interest to me anymore than it is to you. On that score, we agree.”
“But?” she said. “Because I can see there is still more coming.”
“You know there is only one answer here for us. We were caught doing a great deal more than kissing, and Lady Hartfortshire made it seem even worse than it was, if that is to be believed. If I leave this be, it will not only hurt you, but also my sister. And I’ve done one of those things once, and in the service of protecting the other. Everything we suffered in the last year will be for naught.”
She sucked in a breath. “You are talking about marriage. No one will name it, but that’s what you mean, isn’t it?”
His expression faltered a fraction before he nodded. “Yes. Marriage.”
“You don’t want to marry me,” she said. “You don’t want that.”
“Last night I was imprudent. I could have locked the door, I could have taken you to my bed where we wouldn’t have been discovered. But I didn’t. So now what I want or don’t want isn’t at issue.”
“What about what I want or don’t want?” she whispered.
He moved toward her, slowly but with purpose. His hand extended, the same hand he had used to touch her twelve hours before. He cupped her cheek, and she fought not to lean into the strength of his fingers.
“You want stability,” he whispered. “You don’t want to be destroyed. Marrying me will offer you that. If you don’t…the talk was very bad after you departed, Abigail. And we both know that the world is an unfair place, so the consequences will fall harder on you than on me, especially since the fools already think they know something untoward about your character.”
She bent her head, blinking at the tears she didn’t want him to see. “Oh, God. You’re right. I know you’re right, I just cannot believe this is happening.”
“I know. I’m sorry. So, you will marry me?” he asked.
She forced herself to look at him then. “Yes.”
There was a hint of a smile on his face, but then it was gone and he was all business again. He dropped his hand away and paced from her side. “Good. Then we need a game plan on how to approach this. First, I think we simply do not allow ourselves to be destroyed. I won’t be forced to race to Gretna Green or take a special license like I’m running from a consequence. We will read the banns as if this is all very normal. It will also give my sister time to arrive in a week so she can take part in the wedding, which will give it even more a sense of correctness.”
He said each thing with such a cold certainty. Such a calculated air. It certainly wasn’t the great romantic gesture he was describing. Although Erasmus had been very much attached to the great romantic gesture when they courted, and look where it had landed her.
Perhaps this was better.
“You said the talk was already very bad,” she said. “Are you certain we ought not to just marry with haste if that is the only solution?”
“Let them talk,” he said. “And you and I will just make sure the tenor of the conversation is changed.”
“How?” she asked.
“We will let it slip out, through the right parties, that you had agreed to marry me that very night, just before we were discovered. We will imply that we were swept away by our joy and great emotion for each other.”
“Make it a grand love story and they’ll eat it up,” she murmured.
He nodded. “You were in mourning all this time, shattered by what you endured…”
“And you were there,” she whispered. “Supporting me and waiting for the moment I was free to tell me how you felt.”
He swallowed. “Er…yes. Something like that.”
“So we’ll lie.”
“Not all of it is a lie, is it?” Her heart leapt a little at the thought. Then he cocked his head. “I think we were both swept away last night.”