Duke Looks Like a Groomsman - Valerie Bowman Page 0,63
on his still-damp breeches. “But things didn’t happen differently.”
“That’s not our fault. You know as well as I do that we have strong feelings for each other. We’ve had those feelings for well over a year.”
“You hated me for months,” he pointed out.
She rubbed a hand against her forehead. “Because I didn’t know the truth. But I always wanted you, and you always wanted me.”
Rhys scrubbed a hand through his hair. He was bloody well tempted to tell her why he hadn’t made love to her. But what good could possibly come from it? “Damn it, Julianna. That doesn’t change the facts now. You’re betrothed. That means something.”
Anger flashed in her eyes. “Did it mean something when you were kissing me at the tree line? Did it mean something when you were touching me with your tongue just now?”
“Yes, damn it. We had a momentary lapse of judgment,” he ground out.
“Both times?” she countered.
“Both times,” he echoed, his voice flat.
The look in her eyes was a mixture of anger and recrimination. “No, Rhys. You’re using that as an excuse. You know as well as I do what we have, what we’ve meant to each other.”
He clenched his jaw. “Please, Julianna. For once in my blasted life, I’m trying to do the right thing. You’re betrothed to Murdock.”
“What if I don’t love him?”
“Don’t say that.”
She tossed a hand in the air. “We both know it’s true.” Tears filled her eyes and ran down her cheeks. She stared at him helplessly. “Do you love me, Rhys?” she asked, her gaze fiercely locked with his.
They stayed that way for what felt like endless seconds, neither of them saying a word.
Her jaw clenched, she pulled her shift on first, then her habit. She stood and straightened her skirts. “Never mind. I should get back to the manor house. For Mama’s sake.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Julianna made the last several hundred yards of the trip back to the stables alone. Rhys had waited in the copse of trees watching her, in case her mother was still in the stables. He didn’t want to risk the duchess seeing him and asking a lot of questions.
He needn’t have worried. When Julianna rode Alabaster back into the stables, a large group gathered to welcome her, but her mother was not there. The stablemaster quickly informed her that they’d convinced Mama to return to her bedchamber and wait for word.
First, Mr. Hereford hurriedly dispatched Henry to the manor house to inform the duchess that her daughter had returned, then the stablemaster helped Julianna down from the horse and quickly wrapped a blanket around her shoulders.
“Are you all right?” Lord Clayton asked. He’d obviously been out in the rain too because he was soaking wet along with half the stablehands.
“I’m sorry to have worried all of you,” Julianna said to the assembled group, wrapping the blanket more tightly over her shoulders. Guilt swamped her. “I’m sorry to have put you all to such trouble,” she added.
Julianna was carted back to the house posthaste by a pair of groomsmen who turned her over to a pair of housemaids inside the house. From there, the maids escorted her back up to her bedchamber where her hovering mother insisted that she lie down and rest to prevent herself from catching a cold.
“Where were you, Julianna?” Mama asked after Julianna was safely dressed in her night rail and snuggled under the covers in her bed.
Mary sat by her bedside, silently holding her hand.
“I took one of the Arabians out for a ride,” Julianna explained.
“In the middle of a storm?” Mama shook her head, the worried expression still on her face.
“It wasn’t storming when I left, but I am terribly sorry I worried you, Mama,” Julianna replied.
Her mother didn’t ask why she hadn’t been wet when she returned, and Julianna had no intention of telling either her mother or her dear younger sister the details. No. She’d already decided on the long, silent ride back to the stables. Her afternoon with Rhys and what had transpired between them would go with her to her grave.
Today, she finally realized she had no future with Rhys. He’d made it clear that he would not be a party to her breaking things off with Murdock. And if Rhys didn’t love her enough to stand up on a proverbial sideboard for her, did she even want to spend the rest of her life with him?
She’d been tempted, so blessed tempted, to blurt out that she loved him. She knew she loved him.