Drowning in Love - Kelsie Rae Page 0,28
and I’d never be able to give her the life she wanted. When we finally broke up, she was pissed, and she had every reason to be. But I still remember what she said to me before walking out the door. ‘If you knew you didn’t want marriage, why didn’t you tell me? Why weren’t you up-front with me? Why can’t you love me the way I love you?’ And that’s when I realized the truth. I’m not capable of that kind of love. I’m capable of having a good time, but…that’s it. And I just…I guess I needed to find someone who was okay with that.”
He looks down at me again, but instead of relief in his gaze, I’m met with hesitation and guilt.
“And how does that make you feel, Nora?” Dr. Lorringer asks.
A stupid tear slips past my defenses, and I hastily wipe it away. “I feel…heartbroken for you. And for her.”
“Why her, Nora?” Dr. Lorringer prods.
“I’ve already told Gage this story.”
The CliffsNotes version, anyway.
“But you haven’t told us,” Dr. Lorringer presses. “And because this is a workshop, I think it would be really beneficial for everyone to get to the bottom of this.”
Definitely gonna kill Gem.
Sighing, I explain, “My brother was you, Gage. He dated the perfect girl for a long time. All throughout high school. They were…well, for lack of a better word, they were perfect for each other. And I’m not just saying that. Like seriously…when I grew up, I wanted to find a relationship like theirs. Then, one day after graduation, he broke it off. I still don’t understand why, and honestly, I’m not sure if he does, either, because I know he regrets it. But he did. He broke her heart. And I had to watch it all fall apart. I always felt like…if a couple like them couldn’t make it, then how the hell was I going to find someone that would give me better odds of a happily ever after?”
The room is silent. I’m not even sure the audience is breathing with how quiet and heavy the air is around us. But I also don’t know what to say to break it. To make it better. To erase the pity on Gage’s face as he stares down at me.
“Gage, do you think Nora is capable of having a happily ever after?”
Rubbing his hand along the scruff of his cheek, he watches me carefully. “From my own personal experience, I’m not sure it really exists.” Tears threaten to fall from my eyes, but I hold them back. “But if anyone deserves it, it’s her.”
Dr. Lorringer nods. “Do you wish you could give that to her? If you’d met in another life?”
“That’s a trick question,” he points out, refusing to look at me anymore.
With a kind smile, she replies, “We’re talking hypothetically, Gage.”
“Hypothetically?” His eyes dart back to mine. Then he studies me carefully. “Yeah. If I knew I wouldn’t hurt you and was capable of giving you everything you deserve––”
“And what does she deserve?” Dr. Lorringer interjects.
“A relationship that blows her brother’s out of the water.”
The audience laughs along with Dr. Lorringer. “Perfect. Go on.”
“If I knew I was capable of giving you that, I’d do it in a heartbeat.” There’s a hint of hesitation in his eyes that seems to fill a few of the little cracks of reservations I have with him. It’s the vulnerability that isn’t usually present in a guy that, for as long as I’ve known him, has always been so self-assured. It almost breaks me.
“And, Nora, are you willing to risk your heart to find out if he is capable? If maybe he just needs someone to have faith in him and to teach him what unconditional love looks and feels like?”
“We just met,” I argue.
“Every love story starts that way. Whether it’s on a dating site, at the grocery store, through a mutual friend, or maybe it’s on a singles’ cruise,” she replies with a smirk. “Your relationship isn’t any different than anyone else’s in this room. It’s how you move forward after that first date. How you encourage that connection after the initial meeting. It’s these decisions that can make or break a relationship. You have to decide if you’re willing to deal with the mess that comes with every single person––because I guarantee no one is perfect––or if you’d prefer to keep your hands clean and let another potential soulmate slip through your fingers because that connection wasn’t strong enough to encourage you