Dropping The Ball - A New Year’s Billionaire Romance - Weston Parker Page 0,89
but the move shut me the hell up. “Sorry. Continue.”
“I do need to apologize, though. I acted like a child. I was freaking out, and instead of letting you in about it, I pushed you out. I can’t say it was a mistake because at the time, I really thought it was the right thing to do.”
She dragged in a long, slow breath but her eyes on mine told me she wasn’t done yet. “I’m still trying to come to grips with the long-term implications of this disease myself. I thought I was getting there, but then you happened. It started occurring to me how much I hadn’t discussed with my doctor, and when I tried to, he was out of the country.”
She wet her lips nervously. “I told myself that I’d been honest with you, but mentioning being worried about something isn’t the same as being totally honest about it, so here goes.”
I closed my hands over hers on my chest, wrapping my fingers firmly around her thinner ones. I wasn’t going anywhere, and this was the only way I could show her that without interrupting her.
“Being diagnosed with any chronic illness sucks, but especially one like this. No one knows for sure if it will last for a few years or if it will be lifelong. There’s no cure and no definitive cause. There’s no telling how it will progress in any one individual, or if it will cause seriously disability, or if you’ll be one of a lucky few patients for whom it will always be mild.”
Tears glistened in her eyes, but she didn’t let them fall, and she didn’t stop talking. She simply inhaled another breath and pushed through it.
“The symptoms, severity, and duration all vary from person to person. I’ve been one of the lucky ones so far, but that doesn’t mean it will always be like that.” Her breathing was shallow, her eyes earnest when she tapped her fingers on my chest. “When I look at you, I see this amazing, funny, playful, gorgeous, cocky guy who’s got life by the balls. You worked to get to where you wanted to be, and you’ll carry on doing just that. I don’t want to be the ball and chain holding you down.”
She lowered her gaze as if she needed a moment before bringing it back to mine. “My thoughts had been snowballing for a while before that night. They got away from me completely until even the thought of a future with you seemed impossible. I lashed out at you because I needed you to be the one to walk away. I know it’s not fair, and I know I hurt you. I’m truly, deeply sorry. Do you think you can ever forgive me?”
“There’s nothing to forgive, Ry.” I let go of her hands to press my body to hers and wind my arms around her neck, bending my knees to look right into her eyes. “You got scared and freaked out. You didn’t do anything wrong and you weren’t the only one worrying about the future. I don’t want to be the security thug holding you down when you could be with movie stars or pretty much any man in the world.”
“I don’t want to be with any man in the world,” she whispered. “I just want to be with you.”
“That’s how I feel about you. I don’t give a fuck about being held back because you will never be holding me back. You lift me up, Ry. Being with you makes me feel like the man I’ve always wanted to be, and nothing is ever going to change that.”
She opened her mouth, but I gave my head a small shake. “You’ve had your say. Now let me have mine. I don’t want to be pushed away anymore. Period. MS or not, you’re being ridiculous.”
Leaning forward, I pressed a soft kiss to her forehead and pointed my thumb at my bike parked at the curb. “Ride life until you can’t ride anymore. Then get on my fucking bike and I’ll drive.”
Her brow quirked, a small smile on her lips even as her eyes grew misty. “You never say what I expect you to.”
“You never do what I expect you to.” I held her closer. “I mean it, Ry. Whatever happens in the future is going to happen, and I want to be right there next to you when it does. Do you still like reading?”