Dropping The Ball - A New Year’s Billionaire Romance - Weston Parker Page 0,77
serious, but he reached for my hand and jutted his chin out. “I don’t believe any of that. Back away from the ledge, Ry. This doesn’t change anything. We don’t even know yet—”
“I do know!” My voice broke on the scream that finally ripped from my chest. “Don’t you get it, Carter? I do know. I’ve been prepared for this to happen. That’s why I’ve been living the way that I have. I can’t get off the ledge because there’s nowhere else for me to go. My own body decided I have to live on that fucking ledge for the rest of my life.”
He gripped my hand tighter when I tried to yank it away from him. “Don’t do this to me, Rylee Naples. Don’t do this to us. You don’t have to.”
An ugly, angry monster reared up in my chest. Tears burned the backs of my eyes but I wouldn’t let them fall. None of this was Carter’s fault. I knew I shouldn’t be yelling at him, but I couldn’t help it. I had to push him away before both of us fell even deeper.
He might not have said it earlier, but I knew it was true. Carter Demming had fallen for the broken, sick girl, and I couldn’t do that to someone as strong and full of life as he was. I wouldn’t be the one who he regretted falling for when he spent years of his life beside a bed just like this one instead of out there living it.
“It’s already done,” I said, regaining some control over the volume of my voice. It still came out cutting and venomous, but at least half the hospital wouldn’t hear me anymore. “Bring Bart in for a while if you’re worried about leaving me, but I need some space. Now.”
His jaw was clenched so tight that his teeth might crack. For a long minute, he didn’t do or say anything. He just stared at me, his eyes on my face like he was cataloging every inch of it so he’d remember what I looked like for years to come.
Good. Say goodbye, Carter. You’ll never see me again. Very few people will.
“This isn’t goodbye,” he whispered hoarsely before the chair scraped again and he stood up. “I’ll call Bart, but I’ll be seeing you very soon. I’m not giving up this easily. I’ll make a way if I can’t find one, remember?”
He held my gaze for another beat before he turned around and marched out of my room. I wondered if he knew he was taking my heart with him. Although I’d ordered him away, more than once even, I hated watching him go.
Not even his great ass could distract me from the torment breaking me up inside. So that’s what will change this time. Everything. Again.
But what was different was that I wouldn’t fight to get back what I’d lost again. Because ultimately, I wouldn’t be the loser if I tried to get him back. Carter would, and he was a lot of things, but he wasn’t a loser. I wouldn’t turn him into one.
At least I still had control over that one thing.
Chapter 27
CARTER
So this is what heartbreak feels like, huh? I’d never known how badly a person could hurt without even having sustained so much as a scratch. It was no wonder it took people years to get over a broken heart. I also suddenly understood all the melancholic songs written about it and why therapists made a living off the poor saps who’d loved and lost.
I was the card-carrying member of that club now. Sure, I hadn’t been to see a therapist yet but it had only been about fourteen hours since Rylee had ripped my heart out. Give me time.
In my pursuit to become the best bodyguard I could be, I’d spent years of my life fighting against the masters in a variety of martial arts. I’d taken more hits than I could count, and none of them had hurt even a fraction as much as this did.
What made it even worse was that I knew what she was doing and why she was doing it, but it was killing me. I hadn’t moved off the couch since I’d gotten back from the hospital. Except to go digging around in my kitchen cabinet for a bottle of scotch I’d stashed there at some point, a glass, and to take a piss every so often, I just sat here.