Dropping The Ball - A New Year’s Billionaire Romance - Weston Parker Page 0,71
needed to know more than ever what my prognosis was. Everything I’d talked to my doctors about before had revolved around my career and whether I’d be able to go back safely.
Things were different now. They wouldn’t only have my career to take into consideration, but things outside of it. Sex, for example. It felt pretty damn good with him, but I’d never even brought it up with my doctors because I hadn’t been having it.
It was terrible to have all these things running through the back of my mind even as I watched him sleep. His chest was rising and falling in an easy rhythm, his handsome features relaxed and his arm draped over my midriff.
I brushed his hair with my fingers, singing softly to him. So many songs swirled through my mind, but I found myself on one I’d been singing at a different man recently, but that was just for the rehearsal. Even though I’d been singing it at Dustin, Carter had been the one on my mind with every word since he’d come back into my life.
“Just for this moment. As long as you’re mine. I’ve lost all resistance, and crossed some borderline. And if it turns out, it’s over too fast, I’ll make every last moment last. As long as you’re mine.”
My voice became thick, and I stopped when I got choked up with tears. Fuck my life. I’ve already fallen in love with this man.
I thought I’d accepted it already, but that had been nothing compared to this. This all-encompassing feeling that I’d give everything up if he asked me to. No press. No shows. No stage.
What made it even more worrying was that I didn’t even think I’d miss those things if he was by my side. It helped knowing he’d be there anyway, that I didn’t have to give it up to be with him, but it was damn scary to know I’d do it.
Without question. Without doubting. Without another thought about it at all.
What made it even scarier was knowing that the one thing I couldn’t give up for him was the same thing really holding me back. I’d have given up having MS for him, but I couldn’t. That was with me for life, and whatever he said now, he didn’t know how bad it could get.
Hell, I didn’t even really know how bad it could get. I’d made a point of not exhausting the internet with my searches. Knowledge wasn’t always power. Sometimes, it was a hindrance. Knowledge could make me weaker. Paranoid. Disabled.
I refused to let it happen, so I’d kept my research limited. I’d joined legitimate forums, got my information from trusted sources, and tried not to run to the all-knowing internet with all my questions.
I was fine for now, but no one knew how long that would last. I loved Carter too much, despite even my own reservations about it being too early to love him, to drag him into this.
I had quit one thing I loved already. Sure, I was making a comeback. But people didn’t work like the stage. They didn’t always welcome you back with open arms filled with roses and the role of a lifetime.
Sometimes, the wicked witch got left to rot in her hole and no cared about her story.
Chapter 25
CARTER
Bart and I needed to talk. He sat across from me at the restaurant where we were having dinner with Tani and Rylee, his gaze on her hand absently playing with my hair while she spoke to her friend.
He cocked his head at me, but I shook mine. I knew it was time to let him know what was going on between us, but not right then. It was a safe bet he already knew anyway, but he hadn’t said anything or pulled me off her detail, so I assumed he was trusting me with this.
“How was your Christmas?” Tani asked us, a wide smile on her face as her eyes darted from Rylee’s to mine and back again. “I know it’s been a week, but I haven’t seen you guys, and talking on the phone just isn’t the same. How did it go with his parents?”
“It went really well,” she replied. “We had a good visit.”
When her cheeks flushed, I knew her mind had gone to the evenings after my parents had gone to bed. Lord knew my own brain spent its fair share of time on those memories. Then I spent every night worshiping her body and making more.