right price. Was hard to watch Panther do this. Don’t know when I started to mind. Crept up on me. Her life. Didn’t seem right and didn’t seem like my place to tell her anything different.
My past. Seemed like I saw my past sitting in front of me, swimming in that glass.
Sometimes I stared at my JD and saw her complexion. Didn’t matter if I drank from a glass or a paper cup, her face was in every drop. I swallowed and heard her calling my name.
I let that go. Anger sent me back to the problems I had now.
Panther came off stage, passed me by. All attitude. Nothing like the woman I’d been inside this morning, not at all like the woman I’d seen this afternoon. She ended up flirting with the guy standing next to me. A blue suit sporting a hundred-dollar tie and crisp white shirt. Flirting hard and strong. She sat next to him, her hand on his leg, laughing, telling him how fine he was. Then she started dancing for him, swerving her backside up against his crotch.
My right hand started shaking. Needed to hit somebody.
I stopped Sexy Chocolate as she passed, asked her to come perform for me. She nodded toward Panther and shook her head, telling me no. I grabbed her arm and pulled out a C-note. That changed her mind. Panther cut her eyes at me, then did the same toward Sexy Chocolate.
Sexy Chocolate stopped dancing. “Driver, I don’t know whassup, but I ain’t involved.”
She told me to keep my money, politely stepped off, headed across the room.
Panther finished her dance, stuffed her ten spot in her garter, walked away without acknowledging me. China Doll wouldn’t come my way. Same went for Diamond, Mercedes, Spanish Fly, Butter Pecan, Alize, Milkshake, Chardonnay, Honey Dip, and a few others.
I downed my Jack and headed for the exit.
People with day jobs had started leaving the strip mines about the same time I walked out. The irresponsible and unemployed stayed until the last song. Waitresses started leaving around one-thirty. Then Panther came out. She had on pink sweats, a leather jacket, Adidas bag over her shoulder. Some guy was walking with her. Big, wide dude. One of the bouncers. She saw me by her car, said something to him. He turned around, went back toward the club.
Cool. Jack had calmed my nerves. I didn’t feel like hitting nobody anyway.
She stopped right by me, ran her hand over her hair, let out an exasperated sigh.
“Two minutes, Driver.”
“Five.”
“You just lost ten seconds.”
I nodded. “Want to tell me what’s going on?”
She shifted, dropped her bag, leaned her butt against her car.
“Today ... at lunch ... got emotional—” She cleared her throat, waited for a car to drive by us. “Got carried away. Said it.”
I sucked my bottom lip. Tired as hell. Didn’t need this shit right now.
“That did it.” She nodded. “Told you I love you. You didn’t respond. You didn’t even acknowledge that I told you I loved you.”
“That’s why you’re acting crazy?”
“I opened up. You blew me off.”
“You hung up.”
“You had all day to call me back. Told you that and I haven’t heard from you.”
“Didn’t blow you off. Hell, I opened up too.”
“You did not.”
I snapped, “With all the shit I’m dealing with, did the best I could, dammit.”
That shut her up.
Head busted with a 7-Up. A Glock pointed at me. Stalked. Apartment trashed. Clothes either soaked in bleach or ripped to shreds. This bullshit was the last thing I needed.
She took her tone down a bit. “Why didn’t you call me to let me know you were okay?”
“Been busy.”
“You have a cellular on your hip at all times. What, you couldn’t find two seconds?”
I shifted, ran my fingers over that day-old scar behind my ear. I understood women the way most poor people understood the economy.
“I told you, you igg’d it.” She let out a wounded chuckle. “Just like you’re doing now.”
“What was I supposed to say? I mean, it was a statement, right?”
“A statement. Like ‘The sky is blue.’ ”
“Well if you had said that, that would’ve been different because the sky is gray.”
“Not funny.”
I sighed.
She said, “Doesn’t matter.”
“Then why are you so angry?”
“Not angry. Frustrated. Disappointed. Don’t matter. Love ain’t done nothing for me but get me in no-good relationship after no-good relationship, had me doing immoral and illegal shit for niggas that I knew I shouldn’t be doing. Never should’ve left Atlanta. Never.”