Dreaming of His Snowed In Kiss - Jessie Gussman Page 0,28
is coming from. And I can also see where you might feel guilty because it feels selfish. I can’t say that I wouldn’t do the same thing and feel the same way if I were in your shoes. I just want you to know there’s no judgment here.”
Her words, though they weren’t words of approval necessarily, made Poppy feel so much better. Like a light had come on in her soul, shining away the darkness that seemed to have descended there since she had left the institute.
It hadn’t been entirely darkness. The little laugh she’d shared with West had kept it from being pitch black.
Suddenly, she couldn’t wait to read his text.
But she didn’t try to do that while she was talking to Miss Penny.
“Thank you. Even though I know the right thing to do is to open my heart up again, if that’s what it is, it’s just scary and hard and I don’t even feel like I have a whole heart. It feels crumpled and wrinkled and battered. Permanently.”
“We serve a God who is in the business of healing.” Then Penny grunted. “That sounded so trite and superficial even though it’s true, I guess we say it often enough that sometimes those words lose their meaning. Please think about it, because I know you believe it.”
“I do. I don’t even know if that’s the problem. I just...I’ve worked so hard at not letting the sadness and the darkness beat me. I see my mom, and I want more than anything not to be like that. And for me, having Hazel here is like my mom seeing me. Hazel looks exactly like my sisters Rachel and Esther. It’s all I can do to call her by her name instead of theirs.”
“It’s hard to live with a ghost.”
“Yeah.” Especially when that ghost felt like they were sticking a knife in your heart every time a person looked at them.
“Well, not to change the subject, although it definitely is a subject change, I was really calling to see if you could run these pull-ups out to West tomorrow. Paula had gone and gotten them, but for some reason, she didn’t want to deliver them to West’s farm.”
“That’s because West is stygian. Paula was scared.”
Poppy knew Penny would love that, even though West was her son. Penny and Race were no stranger to West’s and hers light and dark banter.
Paula wasn’t exactly known for her fearless personality, either. That might have been Poppy at one time.
“That could be it,” Penny said with a laugh in her voice. “But she also had to start her shift at the diner. Let’s go with that.”
“Everybody has their narrative to describe the world. Let’s just agree to disagree.”
Their laughter mingled, and then Poppy, still smiling, said, “I think it would be nice to take a ride with Hazel tomorrow. Although I haven’t watched the weather lately. What will the storm be doing?”
Oddly, Penny seemed to hesitate, then stumble, before she said, “Actually, I think it’s supposed to begin tomorrow. Or maybe the rain is supposed to start tonight. And then maybe it’s supposed to end in snow. I’ve just heard glimpses of the weather forecast.”
“Oh. Okay.”
Maybe Penny was stumbling because she wasn’t confident in her forecast.
“I promised Hazel pancakes for breakfast, but we’ll do it after that.”
“Sounds good. I’ll drop the bag off at the diner.”
“Perfect.”
They chatted a bit more before hanging up.
Immediately, Poppy started walking to the bathroom, pulling her texting app up along with West’s text.
It surprised her.
After the day I had, I think I’ll let you win. Good night.
She stood in the bathroom doorway, cognizant that Hazel was still happily playing with the bowls and eggbeater, while her heart sank.
West seemed so indestructible. So strong. Like nothing could get to him.
It hurt her heart that he sounded so defeated in that text. Probably after dealing with four small children and a woman who was dying with cancer all day, it would be enough to wear anyone down. She just hadn’t thought that of West.
But they didn’t exactly have the kind of relationship where she could be serious with him and offer true words of encouragement and help. But maybe she could send something whimsical. Something that would give him a little lift at the end of his hard day.
Hang in there, Dracula. The light is coming, tomorrow, in fact, and I’m bringing hope and cheer in the form of three packs of pull-ups.
She’d barely made it to the shelf to grab a towel