Dreaming of His Snowed In Kiss - Jessie Gussman Page 0,14

There haven’t been that many times where she’s been awake but not consumed with spending time with the kids. I can’t believe how much work these little guys are.”

West held the car seat in his free hand and somehow managed to keep the baby in the blanket and the bottle all upright and working with his other.

“You must have been good at sports when you were in school.”

“Never played them.”

He didn’t elaborate, and Poppy didn’t feel like his statement left any room for her questions. Of which she had a few.

But she shouldn’t, because she kept telling herself she wasn’t interested.

They worked on getting the kids situated again, with her getting the Styrofoam containers out of the bag and West settling Garrett and Warren down at the table and helping them open their containers.

Poppy slipped in opposite West with Trevor on her lap. And she helped him bow his head and fold his hands while West prayed.

The act itself surprised her, although she supposed she was being judgmental to allow it to.

After the kids had settled down eating and she was spooning applesauce into Trevor, she said, “This is getting to be a habit. You and me feeding these children.”

West had just taken a big bite of his hamburger, which he set back down on his Styrofoam container, and chewed while he gently patted Gabriella’s back and bounced her carefully. It was a little bit before he chewed and swallowed.

“So you’re worried people are going to talk about us?”

She hadn’t expected him to pick up on that. “I guess I kind of thought you would give me a sarcastic answer, and I would have to explain it to you.”

“I live here too. I’ve been here longer than you. I definitely know how things work.”

“I just wanted to make sure you understood. I’m not trying to get people to talk about us, and I am not trying to get anywhere with you. Just saw a need.”

For once he seemed serious, not sarcastic, and he nodded, his face not showing any emotion but not glowering either, which is what it always seemed to when she was around.

“Not just seeing it. Not just saying it. I appreciate you doing something about it. I feel like I’m drowning here sometimes.” His eyes narrowed and his lips pressed together like he hadn’t meant to say even that much.

But then, like he needed to say more, he continued, “I don’t know what Minnie’s plans are, and I can’t even bring myself to ask. She’s got so much going on and so much heartache and hardship...” He shook his head. “I don’t know why she even came to me. I’m the last person in the world who would know what to do with kids.”

His eyes skimmed over to Warren and Garrett who were sitting across the table from each other talking about the fish that Warren had seen in the pond and were not paying them the slightest bit of attention.

“But I can’t say anything. I can’t tell her I can’t do it. I can’t tell her to go somewhere else. I can’t even tell her that I want to bring someone in to help me. I just... I guess she’ll know more after her appointment today, but she already has so much going on I just can’t not be strong for her.”

He looked down, his hand never stopping its rhythmic tapping on the baby’s back as he seemed to be warring inside himself. What he wanted versus what he knew he needed to do.

This was a totally new side of West. Poppy worked to keep her jaw from dropping down on the picnic table. He seemed almost...human.

Somehow, this didn’t seem like the time for their usual sarcastic banter, though.

“It probably doesn’t help anything, but I’ve been sitting here admiring how natural you look with Gabriella. Feeding the baby a bottle and pushing two little kids on the swings while watching that Warren didn’t fall into the pond was far more than what I feel like I’m capable of doing. I can’t tell you feel like you’re overwhelmed. You look like you have everything under control.”

“Yeah. It’s just an illusion. Isn’t that life?”

Traces of bitterness ran through his words. That bitterness surprised her too. It also gave her the feeling that there was a lot more to his words than what she saw on the surface. A lot more to West than what anyone guessed.

Including her.

“No. It’s possible to live a real life. Real. Not pretending to