I shook my head again, but this time I had an answer. “You would have found nothing changed, since I wasn’t there.”
“If you didn’t return to Briarfell, then where did you go?” Robin asked, looking as distressed as I felt.
Trying not to think of my encounters in the Underworld or Zhadugar, I ignored his question, looked around. “Where are you heading?”
Will approached me awkwardly. “The Summer King told us my sister was alive, and with the Wild Hunt in the Spring Court. Alan offered to lead us there, through his realm.”
I nodded, still dazed.
“Why didn’t it work?” Meira looked and sounded at her wits’ end. “He was a king! He said everything right!”
“Perhaps just like you miscalculated your amendment, you are misinterpreting the curse itself?” Robin suggested, never taking his eyes off me.
My fairy godmother made an affronted sound like a whistling tea kettle. “Misinterpreting—! There was never any doubt about the curse’s terms! It is to be broken by the love of the noblest of men. Once Fairuza’s betrothal to Prince Cyaxares was assured, we believed it would be him. Why do you think we wasted all these years, and we’re in this situation now?”
Robin ignored her rant, took a step closer. “Fairuza, what happened?”
I couldn’t escape his question this time. “I don’t know. One second I thought it was working, the next I thought I was dead, then I was back here.”
As if to comfort me, Amabel lowered her head towards me, but when I instinctively reached to pet her—I couldn’t feel her at all.
Terror blared through me as I raised my shaking hand in front of my face. It was a barely-there outline that was as see-through as glass. In my mother’s culture, this would be the gesture to ward off danger and bad luck, or what they called the evil eye. Many hung hands with blue eyes on their walls, doors, and from their necks. But now nothing could stop the dark magic consuming me.
“I’m literally losing my grip on life.” I giggled hysterically, locking eyes with Robin’s pained ones. “Just like you said. The tether to my body is thinning the longer I stay away from it, and the longer it sleeps.” My laughter choked into a wheezing whisper. “You want to know where I went? I was where true ghosts reside. I went to the Underworld. Probably a warning that my time is running out.”
“This is all my fault.” Meira stared at my disappearing hand in a daze. “I should have left it alone, shouldn’t have interfered and made it worse.”
Will grabbed her by the shoulders, snapping her out of her stupor. “If you hadn’t tried, she would have long been dead, with no hope of bringing her back. We still have hope, because of you.”
I knew he was right. But that hope was fading right along with pieces of my body, and I couldn’t help the resentment and futility that rose through me like bile.
Robin watched me, unblinking, as if afraid I would disappear again, which I could any moment now. “We’ll talk to that queen once we reach her realm. She’s sure to remove her curse now you’ve done everything she demanded.”
A bitter huff rattled through me like chimes in the wind. “Leander and Bonnie almost died trying to reach her, only for her to send them away. What makes you think it would be any different with me?”
“There has to be something we can do!” He sounded so wound up, as if the time limit was his. “Didn’t Agnë say we have her king left?”
Agnë stumbled closer, words tripping over each other. “Yes. King Yulian. He was abandoned by his betrothed just like you, Fairuza. If there is anyone who will understand your situation, and be the one to break your curse, it’s him. He is under a terrible spell as well, so you two could be each other’s salvation!”
Robin forced a smile. “That’s even better, since the Winter Court is closer. Once there, Agnë will introduce you to her king, and he’ll break your curse!”
Unable to douse his attempted enthusiasm by saying I might not have enough time for that anyway, I only nodded.
After everyone got back on their horses, the others rode ahead, with Robin giving Maple to Agnë, leaving Amabel for me. He walked beside us, leading her by the reins, wordlessly helping me since I now had only one hand to steer her with. And for a long while, we continued the trek through