The Dream - Whitney Dineen Page 0,84
after Chad worked so hard to ruin my reputation?”
“There was Davis,” she says. “He was always nice to you and every girl in that school would have killed to go out with him.”
“But you did,” I remind her.
“Yes, I did. But it didn’t matter what nasty things anyone said about you, he was still nice to you. I felt insecure the whole time we were a couple.”
I don’t want to think about Davis right now. Yes, he was nice to me, but his good buddy was the driving force behind my abuse. Why he was ever friends with someone like that is totally beyond my capability to understand.
Buck sits quietly listening to our come-to-Jesus moment. He finally asks Jessica, “Do you know who I am?”
She nods her head. “I looked in my old yearbook last night. Buckley Freeport. Buck.”
“Yes, ma’am, that’s me.”
“We went to school together from kindergarten on,” she says, before adding, “I had a crush on you in the third grade.”
Buck smiles like she’s the most perfect woman in the world. “I had a crush on you from kindergarten all the way through high school.”
“Really?” she seems surprised.
“I sure did.”
“I wasn’t nice to you either,” she confesses.
“You never said anything mean to my face,” he tells her.
“Alexander, Buck, I don’t know what to call you. Just because I wasn’t horrible to you doesn’t make my lack of kindness okay.”
“I agree,” he tells her. “But I also think that growing up is hard on everyone. Those years are meant to teach us, and not just the good things. They help prepare us to navigate the treacherous waters of adulthood. We’re all lucky to survive the drama of childhood.” He looks over at me and we share a painful smile.
Buck is right. While I would have done just about anything to have had a different high school experience, I did learn a lot. Too much, probably. I learned to be afraid and distrustful of people to the point where I checked out of living my life to the fullest as an adult. I went overboard avoiding relationships just so I wouldn’t be hurt again. That’s no way to live.
Jessica says, “I want to be friends with both of you, if you’ll let me.”
“I’m pretty sure I forgave you the day we all danced at the club together,” I tell her. “I don’t think it’s possible to have that much fun and hold a grudge at the same time.”
Jessica reaches out for my hand and gives it a firm squeeze before she looks at Buck. “What about you, Buck? Do you think we could be friends?”
He beams like he’s got halogen headlights under his skin. “I was kind of hoping you might be interested in something more.”
She smiles brilliantly before saying, “I am.” After a long moment, she shifts her gaze to me, “Thank you both for being the bigger people. I promise I’m not the same person I was. I’ve taken a few kicks to the teeth during the last several years and Lord knows I’ve been humbled.”
I start to wonder if being humble is what life is all about. No matter how many perceived gifts we have, we need to understand that at any time everything can be taken from us. We must live in a state of gratitude while the blessings rain down on us and a state of hope during the darker moments.
I’ve lost so much in my life and have spent far too long feeling sorry for myself. From this moment on, I vow to be grateful for my journey even when it’s kicking my butt.
Chapter Forty-Nine
Jessica comes with us to look at the house across the street from hers. She’s so excited she’s positively jumping out of her skin. “Isn’t it gorgeous?” she demands as Buck pulls up to the address she gave him.
“I’m going to have to say no,” he tells her. “The whole place looks like it needs to be razed.”
Jessica scoffs, “You’ve got to use your imagination, Buck. This is a diamond in the rough.” She looks at me and asks, “What do you think, Ashley?”
“I think it needs a lot of work.” What else can I say? It’s decrepit.
“That’s my house across the street,” she points at a place in even worse shape.
“Huh.” After all, if you don’t have anything nice to say, am I right?
“Come on,” she tells us. “Let’s look around the grounds while we wait for Beau and I’ll explain my vision.”
Buck and I let her lead the