Dragon's Isolation - Miranda Martin

1

AMARA

I have this theory. Life is nothing but a series of moments. Memories. Each one, good or bad, precious experiences, frozen in time, and filed away. They form who we are and what we will be. Our memories shape us, and the game of life is all about making each moment you have a good one, or at least the best you can make it.

The old me, from before the crash, would never recognize the me today.

“Stop, Daddy!” Malcolm screams, laughing.

He struggles to get away from Shidan, who is holding him tight and blowing raspberries on Malcolm’s neck. Malcolm may be screaming, but he’s also laughing so hard his face is turning colors. Watching my boys play is one of those good moments.

I’ve changed. A lot. On the ship, I never wanted kids. I didn’t want to settle down or be married or any of this. I also thought I was happy, but then I was always good at lying to myself. I think it’s a human trait. We tell ourselves we’re happy when we don’t know what real happiness is. It’s ‘normal,’ so that must be being happy.

Malcolm squirms out of Shidan’s grip, flapping his wings rapidly and getting some space between them before he drops to the floor. He runs behind the makeshift couch I’m sitting on.

“Help me, Mommy!” Malcolm says, giggling.

“You’re on your own,” I say, trying not to laugh.

“There is no escape!” Shidan roars, laughing and pretending to be a monster, holding his hands out and wriggling his fingers.

He stalks Malcolm with exaggerated motions as they continue playing. It’s an effort, but I keep my thoughts focused on this moment. All the stress and worries outside our door are exactly that, out there. Right here, right now—it’s us. My family. My loves.

Shidan darts the wrong way, leaving an opening for Malcolm, who zips out from behind the couch and runs for his room. Shidan grabs him as he passes by and throws him up into the air.

“Shidan!” I yell, heart leaping into my throat.

He catches Malcolm, who doesn’t stop giggling. “More!”

“He’s fine, my treasure,” Shidan says, tossing the boy up again.

Every time he does this, my heart stops, my chest constricts, and I’m sure he’s going to miss catching him. Is it trust or instinct? I don’t know, but I really hate this game. It’s too rough.

“Stop,” I demand. “You know I hate it when you do that.”

He catches Malcolm in midair and tucks him under his arm.

“Of course, my love,” Shidan says.

“Ah, Mom,” Malcolm whines.

“Ah, nothing,” I say. “You’re going to give Mommy a heart attack.”

“Why would your heart attack you?” Malcolm asks, frowning.

“It’s a saying that means your heart stops working,” I explain.

“Why would it stop working?” Malcolm asks.

“Because some little boy and his daddy made it so scared that it couldn’t keep going,” I say, shaking my head.

“Your heart needs to be tougher,” Malcolm says. “I’m fine.”

“Yes, you are, my love, yes you are,” I agree.

My heart swells and tears form in the corners of my eyes as an emotion overtakes me. It’s more than my body can hold. Damn it, I hate these moments. They’re too big. Too much to contain. The kind of moment I want to lock away and have forever.

“Ah, my love,” Shidan says, kneeling in front of me and pulling me into his arms.

He wraps me up in him, the sweet musky smell of him engulfing me, and I sigh. He runs his fingers through my hair, giving me, for a moment, all of his attention. It doesn’t last long before Malcolm is wriggling his way between us.

“Group hug!” he says.

“Big hugs!” Shidan squashes our son between us. “Too much love.”

“Ahhhh!” Malcolm cries out, laughing.

I let go of Shidan and lean back on the couch. “You’re both impossible.”

Shidan smiles and shakes his head, moving to sit next to me. He places an arm around my shoulders. Malcolm drops to the floor and grabs some of his toys, or what passes for toys here on Tajss. On the ship I’d have never considered these makeshift things toys for a kid. On the ship, we still had the mass retail mentality though. Here, handmade is everything. Malcolm’s action figures are carved pieces of rock that Shidan carefully created for him.

“My treasure,” Shidan says, nibbling my ear while he runs the tip of his tail up and down my thigh.

I squirm as his warm breath tickles my neck. As I try to move away from him, he throws a leg across my