broke his hand last night when he punched the windshield.
Oh God, I need to do something. “Dr. Stanton, can I see you in the office for a moment, please?” I ask.
His eyes rise to meet mine and after a pause, he answers, “Yes.” He looks around at the other interns. “We’ll start the rounds in ten minutes, guys. If you want to grab a coffee, go ahead.”
He gestures to his office. I follow him in and he closes the door behind us.
“Your hand is broken,” I whisper as I pick his hand up and inspect it. “You need some x-rays.”
“I’m fine.”
I gently turn his hand over so it’s palm up. I inspect it carefully. It looks like a rubber glove that has been blown up. “You are not fine.” I sigh.
“My hand is the least of my worries.”
My eyes search his. “Cam, we need to talk.” I sigh.
He nods as he watches his hand. He can’t even look at me.
“Have you slept at all?”
“Not for a few days,” he murmurs.
My heart aches for him, and I want to just pull him close and hold him and tell him everything is going to be alright, but I just don’t know if it’s going to be.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
He frowns at the floor. “I have no idea.”
Empathy wins. This is a lot for him to get his head around.
“Can we have lunch today?” I ask.
“I’m going to the children’s hospital after my rounds. I have a patient over there to see.”
“Can I come? We could maybe stop for coffee?” I smile hopefully.
“Ashley, we have nothing to say to each other until you quit working at the club. I can’t stand it. I can’t handle the thought of you being there with other men.”
“Were you going to have sex with someone else last night?” I frown.
He screws up his face. “No. Of course not. Another woman is the last fucking thing on my mind.”
“What were you doing there then?”
“I was drinking with friends and just about to leave.” He shakes his head as he tries to articulate his thoughts. “I thought I’d get a lap dance to put me in the mood so I could jack off and release some tension when I got home.”
I watch him.
“I didn’t expect you to be there, Ash,” he replies shamefully.
I pick up his broken hand and inspect it again. I rub my fingers softly over his swollen skin and he frowns.
My poor, beautiful man is in pain and the overwhelming urge to fix him takes over.
“I miss you,” I whisper as my eyes search his.
He closes his eyes in pain. “Please… don’t.”
“Cam.” I lift his hand and kiss it gently. “You need some x-rays. Let me look after you.”
A knock sounds at the door and we jump back from each other. I quickly pick up a file from the desk as a prop.
“Come in,” he calls.
Dr. Jameson pops his head around the door. “Cam, do you have a minute?” He smiles when he sees me. “Hello, Ashley.”
“Hello.” I smile. I hand Cameron the file and go to leave the room.
“Ashley?” Cameron calls.
I turn. “Yes.”
“Don’t forget it’s your turn to come to the children’s hospital with me after my rounds this morning.”
I smile softly. “Okay.” I turn and leave.
Finally, we get to talk.
I follow Cameron out to his car in silence.
I’m not sure how this coffee date is going to go. I’m feeling vulnerable and needy and I know I need to cut this shit out. I should be furious, but I just miss him so much. I want to hold him and tell him I love him. I want to beg him to accept us both.
But I won’t. I could never be that woman. My pride would never let me.
My phone pings with a text and I stop to read it.
Hi, Ashley. It’s Natasha:
Can we have lunch today?
Don’t tell Cameron!
My eyes widen. Shit.
“What time will we be back, Cam?” I ask him as he walks up in front.
He shrugs. “A couple of hours. Why?”
“Will we back here for lunch?”
“Yes. I’m in my office for appointments this afternoon from twelve so I will drop you back here about quarter to.”
I smile. This might work out because I can pretend I’m still with him when he goes to the office and get back here at one. I text back.