Doomsday Book (Oxford Time Travel, #1) - Connie Willis Page 0,220

silence is worse. It’s like the end of the world.

30

Mary had been dead almost the entire time he had been ill. She had come down with it the day the analogue arrived. She had developed pneumonia almost immediately, and on the second day her heart had stopped. The sixth of January. Epiphany.

“You should have told me,” Dunworthy had said.

“I did tell you,” Colin had protested. “Don’t you remember?”

He had no memory of it at all, had had no warning even when Mrs. Gaddson was allowed free access to his room, when Colin had said, “They won’t tell you anything.” It had not even struck him as odd that she hadn’t come to see him.

“I told you when she got ill,” Colin had said, “and I told you when she died, but you were too ill to care.”

He thought of Colin waiting outside her room for news and then coming and standing by his bedside, trying to tell him. “I’m sorry, Colin.”

“You couldn’t help it that you were ill,” Colin said. “It wasn’t your fault.”

Dunworthy had told Ms. Taylor that, and she had not believed him any more than he believed Colin now. He did not think that Colin believed it either.

“It was all right,” Colin said. “Everyone was very nice except Sister. She wouldn’t let me tell you even after you started getting better, but everyone else was nice except the Gallstone. She kept reading me Scriptures about how God strikes down the unrighteous. Mr. Finch rang my mother, but she couldn’t come, and so he made all the funeral arrangements. He was very nice. The Americans were nice, too. They kept giving me sweets.”

“I’m sorry,” Dunworthy had said then, and after Colin had gone, expelled by the ancient sister. “I’m sorry.”

Colin had not been back, and Dunworthy didn’t know whether the nurse had barred him from the Infirmary or whether, in spite of what he said, Colin would not forgive him.

He had abandoned Colin, gone off and left him at the mercy of Mrs. Gaddson and the sister and doctors who would not tell him anything. He had gone where he could not be reached, as incommunicado as Basingame, salmon fishing on some river in Scotland. And no matter what Colin said, he believed that if Dunworthy had truly wanted to, illness or no, he could have been there to help him.

“You think Kivrin’s dead, too, don’t you?” Colin had asked him after Montoya left. “Like Ms. Montoya does?”

“I’m afraid so.”

“But you said she couldn’t get the plague. What if she’s not dead? What if she’s at the rendezvous right now, waiting for you?”

“She’d been infected with influenza, Colin.”

“But so were you, and you didn’t die. Maybe she didn’t die either. I think you should go see Badri and see if he has any ideas. Maybe he could turn the machine on again or something.”

“You don’t understand,” he’d said. “It’s not like a pocket torch. The fix can’t be switched on again.”

“Well, but maybe he could do another one. A new fix. To the same time.”

To the same time. A drop, even with the coordinates already known, took days to set up. And Badri didn’t have the coordinates. He only had the date. He could “make” a new set of coordinates based on the date, if the locationals had stayed the same, if Badri in his fever hadn’t scrambled them as well and if the paradoxes would allow a second drop at all.

There was no way to explain it all to Colin, no way to tell him Kivrin could not possibly have survived influenza in a century where the standard treatment was bloodletting. “It won’t work, Colin,” he’d said, suddenly too tired to explain anything. “I’m sorry.”

“So you’re just going to leave her there? Whether she’s dead or not? You’re not even going to ask Badri?”

“Colin—”

“Aunt Mary did everything for you. She didn’t give up!”

“What is going on in here?” the sister had demanded, creaking in. “I’m going to have to ask you to leave if you persist in upsetting the patient.”

“I was leaving anyway,” Colin had said and flung himself out.

He hadn’t come back that afternoon or all evening or the next morning.

“Am I being allowed visitors?” Dunworthy asked William’s nurse when she came on duty.

“Yes,” she said, looking at the screens. “There’s someone waiting to see you now.”

It was Mrs. Gaddson. She already had her Bible open.

“Luke Chapter 23, verse 33,” she said, glaring pestilentially at him. “Since you’re so interested in the Crucifixion. ‘And when they