bluer than she’d ever imagined, where, on a spring morning in April, she could open her doors wide and let in the sweetest air she’d ever smelled. She tried to picture the house she’d left not even twenty-four hours before. Was that really still her home? Could she walk through those doors and sit at that kitchen table and climb into bed between the soft sheets and feel that she belonged?
She was suddenly aware of Cait’s eyes on her, watching. “What are you going to do?”
It was unnerving, the way the girl could read her mind sometimes. “I don’t know,” she admitted.
“We could keep going, you know. Straight to Austin. There’s a clinic there, I know the women who work there. You could stay with me.”
Rebecca let the possibility hang in the air in front of her, glittering like a mirage. “That’s a very sweet offer,” she said eventually, which she knew wasn’t an answer. It was close to five o’clock in the evening. The summons stashed at the bottom of her bag had demanded that she appear in court at eleven a.m., which meant the hearing would have happened in her absence hours ago, and while she couldn’t know for sure what the judge’s decision would have been, she had a pretty clear inkling. It was just as Cait had said on the road all those miles ago: Patrick was one of life’s winners. As soon as she’d read the charges filed against her, she’d known she would be on the losing side. That was why she’d had to go to New Mexico. The summons had started the clock ticking, and she couldn’t afford the twenty-four-hour waiting period mandated in Texas. So she’d had to risk crossing state lines, and she’d had to do it before the hearing took place. After that, the police would be watching her, waiting for her to make a move. She figured they were already watching, but until the judge banged his gavel, she’d had to hope they wouldn’t stop her. And they hadn’t. She’d made it to New Mexico. She just hadn’t made it to Albuquerque.
All of which meant now that she was back in Texas, they’d be looking for her. She wondered if it had been a mistake to turn down Cait’s offer to stay in New Mexico a little while longer, but she didn’t want the girl to get in any more trouble than she already had, and she was pretty sure that if Cait helped her get an abortion once the hearing had occurred, she’d be considered an accomplice. This way, it would be just Rebecca’s neck on the line.
Cait steered the Jeep into the Allsup’s parking lot. “Last fill-up until we get back,” she said, swinging open the door. “Do you want anything from inside?”
“No, thanks.” The idea of the fluorescent-orange snack foods that Cait seemed to favor made Rebecca’s stomach heave.
She watched Cait’s back retreat into the store. The cloudless sky had turned a deep slate blue. It would be dark soon.
Rebecca shifted in her seat, a futile attempt to get more comfortable. It was dark inside the Jeep thanks to the temporary plastic sheeting the mechanic had taped to the windows. The windshield would have to be replaced, too, thanks to the spidery crack in the top left corner. She’d give Cait some money to help pay for it. Her stomach roiled after so many hours without food, though the thought of eating felt impossible. She wondered how long it would be until she regained her appetite. She wondered if she would feel this sick for the rest of her life.
She put a hand on her stomach. I tried, baby girl. I tried everything I could, but it wasn’t enough, and now I’ve failed you. She closed her eyes against the thought.
A knock on the windshield, too loud.
She looked up to see a man in a dark blue uniform standing in front of the Jeep. Square jaw. Cap pulled low. The glint of a badge. Hand resting on his holster.
She opened the door a crack. “Can I help you?”
“Rebecca McRae?”
She nodded.
“Ma’am. Please step out of the vehicle.”
Six Hours Earlier—Lubbock County Courthouse, Lubbock, Texas
Judge Proctor swept into the room and perched behind his bench like a shrewd-eyed crow who’d just spotted his next meal. He had a stack of papers in front of him, and he straightened them on the bench as he told the courtroom to be seated.
Rich noticed the scrape on the judge’s left knuckle, fresh