Don't Overthink It - Anne Bogel Page 0,3

we’ll examine how to smartly think our way into them.

You are not doomed to a life of overthinking. You can do better, but it won’t happen instantly. Getting your thought life under control is a process. It has been for me, as you will see. Some days I do well; I’m satisfied with how I’m spending my hours—and by extension, my life. Sometimes I struggle, and I know I will continue to do so. I’m never going to “arrive,” but I can see how far I’ve come. The process hasn’t been easy, but it’s been worth it.

And it can be for you too.

In this book, we’ll explore the practices that have helped me and so many others overcome overthinking. Some strategies are mundane, while others are easy to grasp and instantly life-changing. Some are about money and memories, while others are about simple abundance. Some are weightier, while others help us reach a decision when the answer isn’t obvious.

It’s that last strategy that finally jolted me out of my Nashville funk last June. Let’s go back to my kitchen table, where I’m locked in to The Weather Channel website, refreshing the page like a madwoman, hoping for a better answer that’s never going to come.

My friend replies to my SOS text with laughter and then asks: “What’s stressing you out about the travel details?” She asks me to articulate the precise issue, and I do: I tell her I hate my options. Giving voice to that reality doesn’t feel like a complaint; it feels like clarity. I’m not going to be happy either way.

Even if I don’t like the outcome, that doesn’t mean it’s not the right outcome. And that frees me to choose.

I’m no longer frantic. I check the forecast—with purpose this time. I check the traffic situation. I push back from the computer with a plan, and I leave a few hours later, twenty-two hours earlier than scheduled. It’s not ideal, but it works, and the decision is blessedly behind me.

It only rains a little on the way.

Next Steps

Take the following quiz to see if you are an overthinker.

Do you sometimes lavish mental energy on things that don’t deserve it?

Are there times when you can’t seem to think about anything else, even though you know your thoughts are better spent elsewhere?

Do you ever feel stuck reviewing something that happened in the past?

Do you frequently second-guess yourself?

Do you fret about the small stuff and spend too much time thinking about relatively insignificant issues or problems?

Do your thoughts sometimes keep you up at night?

Do you engage in thoughts you know to be repetitive, unhealthy, and unhelpful?

If you answered yes to some of these questions, you tend to overthink things. Keep reading, because you don’t have to keep doing it.

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Work the Process

Nothing had just happened to her, she had made a choice, and then she had made another and another after that. Taken together, the small choices anyone made added up to a life.

J. Courtney Sullivan

I have a friend who is, by her own description, a chronic overthinker. She says she was born that way and it’s just the way she is. End of story.

She thinks it’s cute, actually—that we women love our families so much that we can’t stop ourselves from worrying about them. Because we’re committed to getting things right—whether in our homes, our work, or our relationships—it’s only natural to think about them all the time. We just can’t help ourselves, bless our hearts. Whenever her struggle with overthinking comes up in conversation, she always ends by asking rhetorically, “But what can you do?”

She assumes there’s nothing she can do. And it’s no wonder. When we look around, we see so many women who overthink, who believe these patterns of thought come naturally and there’s nothing they can do about them. It’s easy to think this is just the way it is.

This misconception is common, but it isn’t harmless. Regardless of the facts, my friend’s mindset makes change impossible. When we assume we can’t, it’s guaranteed we won’t. It’s true that some of us are naturally more decisive, more laid back, or more confident than others. Some of us are more inclined to overthink. But that is the starting point, not the last word. That is where we begin, not where we’re destined to end up.

You Have to Believe You Can Change

Overthinking has always come naturally to me. For me, not overthinking is not effortless. I’ve had to learn how to get my thought life under control, and