Don't Overthink It - Anne Bogel Page 0,16

know exactly where that path will lead. Keep moving, and keep paying attention.

With thoughtfulness and practice, all of us can develop consistent filters for making decisions. It may not be easy, but it’s simple, because it starts with us—with who we are and what we care about.

Identifying the Value Helps You Decide

Nowadays when I feel stuck making a decision, I ask myself, Do I hold a value that can inform this decision? When the answer is yes—and it often is—the decision becomes a whole lot easier.

That was the case with our Scotland deliberations. I’d been overthinking the trip for months, but when Ally unknowingly prompted me to look at it through the lens of my values, I could finally see a convincing reason to get on that airplane. Several reasons, actually. Will and I value experiencing new things together. We value showing up for people we care about, and we’d get to spend time with friends in Scotland. We value new literary experiences, and we’d been invited to take part in an epic one in Scotland’s national book town. We value not going into debt, and we had enough points to cover the international airfare, by far the most expensive part of the trip, and savings earmarked for travel to cover the rest.

So far, so good—but that didn’t make the long flight any more palatable. That’s when I remembered what a mentor once told me: decisions made out of fear are not good decisions. I knew she was right. Staying home because I was afraid of the flight would have been disappointing for everyone and inconsistent with who I am and who I want to be.

We stopped overthinking and decided to take the trip. How could we not? Our values overwhelmingly indicated that, for us, this choice made a whole lot of sense.

Next Steps

1. What do you value?

2. What kind of person do you want to be?

3. What big-picture values matter most to you?

4. How do you want to spend your time?

5. What causes do you care about?

6. When have you felt happy, proud, or fulfilled? Why were those experiences so meaningful?

7. Where do you currently spend your time, money, energy, and attention?

8. Are there any new values you’d like to identify for yourself? If so, what are they?

5

Take Time to Make Time

Being a responsible adult is the most underrated form of self-care. Yes I mean: live within your means, make dentist appointments, save money, plan meals, wash your face before bed, go for walks, cook for people, keep your house clean, go to bed at a decent hour, all that boring stuff. Routines make everything in your life better and this is absolutely the most overlooked and underestimated form of self-care.

Sarah Bessey

School was starting in three days, so it was time to finally cross the last back-to-school task off the list. A widespread hepatitis outbreak had just triggered a change in our state’s immunization requirements, and a previously optional vaccination was now mandatory. Like many schoolchildren, my kids had already had the shot, but if they wanted to attend school the first day, they needed the paperwork to prove it.

I’d been determined not to leave this undone till the last minute, so I’d gathered the necessary papers from our pediatrician at our regularly scheduled checkups way back in July. Those immunization certificates were hard won: the appointment had taken forever, three times as long as any doctor’s appointment should, and I walked out clutching them like a prize.

I considered scanning the forms immediately and sending them right to the kids’ schools, but that day was jam-packed with appointments all over the city, as was the next, and after that we were leaving town. Thankfully, the schools didn’t need them for weeks. The paperwork could wait.

Or so I thought.

We left for our trip, and I forgot about the papers. When I remembered weeks later, I couldn’t find them anywhere. I assumed Will had done something with them—maybe even sent them to the schools—and made a note to ask him about it. But I kept postponing the task till the next day and the next—until right before school started, just as we were going to bed, I remembered to ask Will about the papers. He said he didn’t know where they were. Suddenly, I was worried—and now that this loose end was dangling in front of me, I feared I wouldn’t be able to sleep until I tied it.

And I couldn’t. Though it was already well past my bedtime, I combed