Don't Overthink It - Anne Bogel Page 0,12

flight didn’t make it an automatic no, but I needed a compelling reason to get on that plane. I didn’t know how to approach the decision. How could I know if this trip was worth taking?

But here Ally had gone off to Thailand. She already traveled regularly for work and wasn’t eager to leave town any more than she had to. And she had still said yes to a demanding trip halfway around the world. Why?

With my own looming travel decisions firmly in mind, I told Ally how much I hated to fly and that I was impressed by what her own trip had demanded of her. “Was it tough to decide?” I asked, expecting the answer to be an emphatic yes.

“Not at all,” she said. “When I found out about the trip, I didn’t have to think about it. I didn’t even wait to hear the details. I just said, ‘Yes! Let’s go.’”

How was this possible? I couldn’t believe it, yet I knew Ally wouldn’t make such a decision lightly. She’s not impulsive by nature, so I was struck by her decisiveness, which couldn’t have been more different from my ongoing deliberations about international travel. How on earth did she do it?

Our Values Can Drive Our Decisions

Ally said the choice was easy because she didn’t have to think about it. Long ago, she made a single decision that continues to influence her ongoing decisions, both big and small, and her Thailand trip was one of them.

Ally explained that her decisions today flowed naturally out of her core values—values she had decided would guide her future decision-making. She told me she’d been in an abusive marriage for a few years, but thanks to help from strong friendships and support networks, she was able to find her way out. Because of her past, today Ally springs into action for abused women as a way to give back what was given to her. Anytime she has an opportunity to serve women who have been exploited, neglected, or abused in any way, she responds by opening her checkbook, participating in the fund-raising event, meeting with a stranger to chat, even saying yes to the trip halfway around the world. Whenever she’s invited to support, equip, and empower women who have been exploited, abused, or manipulated, Ally says yes—even if she needs to rearrange work and travel schedules or the cost is substantial.

Because Ally has this big-picture value firmly in place and consciously relies on it when making decisions, she doesn’t agonize about how to spend her time, money, and energy. When a choice that involves women who have been exploited, neglected, or abused presents itself, she barely has to think about what to do. In the same way, when we have a broader vision for our lives, many of the decisions we face become simple, because we have a reliable framework for making them. Because we made a single decision—that is, deciding on a big-picture value—we can see all other decisions as parts of a whole instead of as an endless string of isolated decisions. When a decision touches on our values, we have little to think about. With our internal world in order, we can move outward in the right direction. These values can guide our lives in the big pieces and the day-to-day stuff. Whether we’re going to Thailand or the grocery store, what we do can flow naturally out of who we are.

How Our Values Impact Our Decision-Making

We all face numerous decisions every day. Some are significant, like flying across oceans. Some are quotidian, like choosing what’s for dinner. Some are unavoidable, some we invite into our lives. But all these decisions demand our attention. We can streamline them, harnessing this values-driven approach to decision-making by identifying what matters to us. Our values can guide decisions big and small, short-term and long-term.

Our Values Can Clarify Our Objectives

When I began questioning people whose decision-making process I admired, people whom I knew not to be overthinkers, it was uncanny how often they used the same word: values or values-driven. They echoed Ally, saying they try to make decisions based on who they are and what they care about. Naming these values clarifies their objectives and keeps them out of the weeds of day-in and day-out decisions.

Here’s an example of what it can look like to stay out of the weeds. Earlier this year, Will and I were in the fortunate position of needing to choose between two good schooling options for one