Don't Need You - Lilian Monroe Page 0,64
says, dropping his voice. “You’re part of that business. It’s not the same without you.”
My heart tugs.
An hour ago, I was ready to leave this place. But Finn’s offering me something that means the world to me, too. We could go back to the way things were. I’d have my own business and my best friend back. I could man planes that I enjoy flying and see the adrenaline-soaked gaze of jumpers after a skydive. I could invite excitement into my life again.
If I live in New Haven, I won’t have any of that. I’ll be driving flying busses for the rest of my career—and that’s if Serena even wants me there.
For the first time since I spoke to Robbie, doubt worms its way into my heart.
I have a life in Woodvale. A future. Friends. Family. Everything I have is here. Can I leave that all behind? Would it be worth it?
Would Serena be worth it?
What if this whole relationship of ours is just borne of necessity? We’re two lonely souls going through a rough patch, so we’ve clung onto each other. What if it isn’t love at all? It’s nothing deeper than desperation trying to make it through a hard time.
Finn rattles off some numbers about the business, trying to persuade me that it would be a good move. He promises that within a year, I’ll be making more than I do as a commercial pilot.
“Okay, okay.” I laugh. “Enough. Let me think about it.”
“Think about what?” Sacha, our friend from elementary school, slides onto the barstool next to Finn’s.
I nod at him. “Nothing. How’s Willow?”
“She’s good. Coming here with the girls in an hour or so.”
I force a smile, even though my heart squeezes. Sacha came back to Woodvale a couple of years ago. He and Willow picked up right where they left off, and he decided to stay. Isn’t it simple when the two people who love each other want to live in the same place?
I’m not so lucky. As I drain my beer and order another, the truth reveals itself to me. I’m going to have to choose between Serena and Woodvale. Between new, burning love—and home.
Bitterness coats my mouth, and it isn’t the taste of the beer. When Willow, Nadia, and Esme arrive, I force a smile onto my face and watch Willow wrap her arms around Sacha, and Esme wrap her arms around Finn. My chest aches.
I shake the feeling away, trying to enjoy my time with my friends. I might not have much more of it if I decide to leave. As I sit in our favorite bar, laughing at something Jackson says, I push my worries down and vow to enjoy this evening.
Tomorrow, I’ll be flying across the country to see Serena for the first time in over a month. Then I’ll know what the right thing to do is. I’ll know whether to choose her or them.
My friends laugh at something else, ordering a round of shots. I grimace but accept the shot anyway.
I don’t know how many more nights like this I’ll have, so I might as well enjoy it and ignore the flash of pain that thought causes in my heart.
26
Serena
It’s a new year, but I feel like I’ve moved back in time. I live with my mother, helping her around the house and making sure Nonna is taken care of. It’s like I’m a teenager again, spending all my time with my family.
We manage to clear out Nonna’s personal possessions from her house and get it ready for sale, but my mother is shattered. I bring her home and make her a cup of tea, returning to the kitchen to lean on the counter.
My shoulders round as I try to take a shaky breath. We’ll be able to move my grandmother into a care home, but it feels like everything has shifted. Things aren’t what they were a couple of months ago.
Woodvale seems like it was years ago, not weeks. As I stand in the kitchen, trying to build myself back up to be strong for my mother, it feels like I’m grieving more than just the loss of my grandmother’s cognition.
I’ve lost my own future, too. The promise of an exciting, new relationship with Kit. The chance to work at a new school. The opportunity to have friends. Real friends, who care about me. I had it just long enough to realize what I’ve been missing in New Haven before it was taken away.
The sound of the