Don't Need You - Lilian Monroe Page 0,51
and lathers it up on a washcloth, spreading it over my chest. I let her wash me, loving her touch. It’s intimate. Even though blood starts pumping between my legs and I’m at half-mast within about four seconds, it doesn’t feel entirely sexual.
She stares up at me, a tiny smile hanging on her lips, rinsing the washcloth. I grab a clean one from the shelf outside the shower and do the same for her. As my hands sweep over her body, I pull her back against my chest. I let my hands run over her curves, feeling her tense as I touch her hips.
“You okay?”
Serena bites her lip and shakes her head. “It’s nothing.”
“Tell me.” I hold her close, letting the water wash the suds off our bodies. Serena stares at the wall, and I think it helps that she has her back to me. Pushing her thick hair off her shoulder, I lay a soft kiss on her neck.
Finally, Serena lets out a sigh. “My ex used to call me fat. He’d pinch my love handles and—” She stops, inhaling sharply.
“And what?” My body is tenser than it was a few seconds ago. Protective anger sweeps over me, and I wish I’d punched that asshole when I had the chance.
“I just felt disgusting for a long time,” she finishes, her voice small. “It was okay when we were out there”—she nods to the living room—“but now that I’m not all drunk with lust, it’s just bringing up a lot of memories.”
I spin Serena around, cupping her cheeks. I stare into her eyes, not sure how to tell her everything I feel. “You’re beautiful,” I say, knowing it doesn’t even come close to conveying what I mean. “Your body is perfect.”
She scoffs, and I shake my head, tilting her chin up so she has no choice but to look at me.
“I mean it, Serena. You’re the sexiest woman I’ve ever met. I’ve had a permanent hard-on ever since I saw you at the airport. I’ve only jerked off to the thought of you since the day I met you.”
Serena’s eyes widen. “I…I think I’m flattered by that.”
“You should be.” I laugh, kissing the tip of her nose. “I don’t say it lightly.”
“It’s just hard to shake these feelings. Angelo did a lot of damage to my self-esteem.”
“I’d like to do a lot of damage to his fucking face,” I say through gritted teeth, unable to hide my anger. Serena tenses in my arms, shying away from me slightly. I frown. “What? What did I say?”
Serena sighs, shaking her head. “I just like you more when you’re not…violent.” Her eyebrows arch as she lifts her eyes to mine, telling me a thousand things she can’t say with her voice.
My heart breaks for her. It shatters right there in my chest, because I see just how broken she’s been. How low she’s been dragged down, how worthless she’s felt.
And I’m not going to lie, it makes me angry. It makes me want to be violent with Angelo. It makes a protective instinct flare inside me, stronger than I’ve ever felt before.
But Serena trembles, even under the warm stream of the shower, and I know it’s not what she needs right now. Wrapping my arms around her, I kiss the top of her head and hold her close until the tightness in her muscles unwinds.
Angling her face into the shower, I’m not sure if her face is wet with tears or water. I don’t pry. My heart thumps, and I know I need to cherish this woman. All I want is to be here for her and make her understand how special she is.
But I feel powerless in the face of everything she’s been through. I don’t know how to make her understand what I see in her. We finish washing in silence and step out of the shower together. As she dries herself off with a towel, Serena smiles at me.
“Thanks, Kit.”
“For what?”
She shrugs. “For being you.” Wrapping her towel around her torso, I mourn the fact that her body is hidden from me. Serena steps over to me and lays a kiss on my lips, lingering there for a moment, and she leans into me. “I’m glad we met.”
My throat grows tight as I nod. “Me too.”
Even as we stand there, wrapped in the steam of our first shower together, feeling the afterglow of our orgasms, I know there’s still something standing between us.
Robbie.
Maybe even more than that. Serena’s guarded, and