Dodging Calamities (Artemis University #7) - Erin R Flynn Page 0,4

the voices of assholes like McGrath in my head too often that women were stupid and weak. I had predators coming after me, and it was hard to see anyone decent without ulterior motives when so much darkness stalked me.

It was hard to not feel so fucking alone when I was the last, and desperately trying to find others of my kind and save them.

I didn’t realize what I was doing until I was already knocking on Mel’s door. I knew she’d stayed out of this because it was Hudson, and she couldn’t be objective, but I couldn’t be anymore either.

And I couldn’t handle this alone.

She did a double take when she opened the door, making me realize tears were rolling down my cheeks. She hurried to wave me in, and the moment I put up a barrier to keep anyone from hearing us past her small teacher apartment, I confessed what had happened between Hudson, and now Lucca. I told her how hard it had been with the mating energy and how much I doubted myself—everything.

She waited until I got it all out and hugged me to her, letting me soak up her strength and settle. “You ready for my advice? You know it won’t be unbiased because I love you both.”

“Hit me,” I whispered, wincing at how rough my throat was.

“He’s being a bit sensitive because you’re his mate, and he’s undoubtedly losing his mind staying away and giving you the space you wanted. You were a little insensitive because you don’t understand how special mating and finding your mate is. I don’t think you really implied what his ears maybe heard, but I can understand him taking it that way. So you didn’t do anything wrong, but you’re clearly sorry you hurt him.”

“So apologize,” I muttered, more than fine with doing that.

“Yes, and stop shutting him out. He’s your mate, and you’re going to start doing irreparable damage to him and his dragon. This long away from you, completely cut off from you, especially now back at campus—you’re going to do—he can’t risk being that distracted any more than you can.”

“The energy is just so—”

“I called Calloway. She knew a way and sent me a charm. It will dampen it for you both. Start over with your mate and just be friends again. He broke your trust a few times. You need to repair it. You deserve for him to repair that, even if it never becomes more again. He’s willing to do the work. Let him show you.”

I swallowed loudly and finally said what was stopping me. “What if he really won’t, Mel? What if he says I’m not worth putting in the effort for and walks away from me? I can’t take that again after Craftsman.”

“He’s not Craftsman. Hudson has messed up before and earned your trust back. He is an idiot who kept making the same mistakes at higher levels. That’s his crime. He’s shown his loyalty to you. You’ve just been too hurt to see it. Give him the chance to make the amends he deserves to, as he’s proven he’ll earn your trust back.”

I wasn’t sure I could do that, but when she offered the charms, my hand moved on its own and took them. So, somewhere inside of me I wanted to make up with him, right?

Right?

2

I showered and changed before going back to Hudson’s room, at least having enough tact to not show up at my dragon mate’s window smelling like another man… Who he was best friends with and had intimate feelings for they’d acted on a handful of times.

Plus, I’d needed the time to think.

He met me at the window with his arm reaching out to help me in.

“Can I come in?” I asked hesitantly.

His expressions softened. “Always. You’re always welcome in my room and house, no matter what’s going on with us, Tamsin.”

That was good to know at least, even if it hurt that he wasn’t calling me his princess anymore. I didn’t want it, but… It was weird hearing my name on his lips like a slap of what we’d lost. The same with him not speaking in my head. It had been where we’d started, even if skipping so many steps. We could say we’d been casual all we wanted, but we’d jumped ahead in other ways too.

I let out a slow breath after I put up the barrier so no one could hear us or sense me. “I’m sorry about earlier. No matter how