and his arms are gone, and my eyes spring open to see he’s sat me in the hot tub. My eyes lift to watch him, worried he’s going to leave me here, seemingly floating above myself with no tether, but he only strips from his clothes, leaving them in a pile on the ground as he climbs into the water and immediately picks me up and cradles me in his arms.
“I…” I start, but it’s hard for me to formulate a complete thought, let alone speak.
“It’s okay, goddess. I’ve got you,” he murmurs, his hands now stroking up and down my body in soothing movements.
“Needy,” I try again. “I feel needy and… floaty.”
He nods, tightening his embrace. “Subspace, baby,” he whispers, and my mind wanders to all the books I’ve read, the BDSM romances that explained that fantastical state that seemed too amazing and unreal to be true. When the sub’s mind and body detach from each other because of the heights their Dom was able to take them using either pain or pleasure, or both.
“You’ve had such a surge of endorphins, epinephrine, and enkephalins, which have made this magical cocktail within your system, that you’ve become completely euphoric. There is no pain, there is no worry, and you probably aren’t really aware of anything outside our little bubble,” he murmurs, the tone of his voice lulling me even deeper. “A sub can’t be responsible to make rational decisions about their safety and wellbeing while flying in subspace, so it’s up to their Dom to care for them while they’re there.”
“Aftercare,” I manage to murmur, before my head falls back off his shoulder, but he catches me in the crook of his elbow before my head hits the water, and he nods. “Drunk… or high. Both,” I slur, and he shushes me, a smile pulling at his sexy lips.
“Shhhh, goddess. Fly high and just enjoy it, little one. I’ve got you,” he whispers, and I give up the fight, giving in to this out-of-body experience and letting it take me over.
Minutes later, not too long—since my fingers haven’t had time to get pruny—I come back into my body slowly, lured by Neil’s stroking fingers along my cheekbones, down the bridge of my nose, tracing by jawline, and outlining my brows. The feeling is ticklish but not irritating, and it’s just enough of a sensation that I come back without being startled.
I blink open my eyes and give him a lazy smile when all I see is his handsome face above me. “Mm, so that just happened,” I mumble.
“That it did, goddess. Do you realize how lucky you are? There are people who are submissives all their lives and never reach subspace. We weren’t even in a scene, and you took flight,” he tells me, keeping his voice low.
“How did that even happen?” I ask, wanting to take notes so we can try it again sometime. I’ve never felt so relaxed before.
He gives me a sexy half-smile. “A mix of things, most likely. The heightened emotions, the spontaneous sex, the breath play.”
“Breath play?” I prompt.
He nods, continuing his gentle strokes along my face. “Erotic asphyxiation. With my hand around your throat, intentionally cutting off some of your air supply. I was surprised when you placed me there, because the first time you traced my hand in the shower, your microexpressions told me you were frightened by the place between my thumb and forefinger, as if you were imagining your throat being right there, choking you.”
“Well, now you’ve replaced another bad memory with a very, very special one, I’d say,” I whisper, turning my face just as his thumb traces close to my lips and nipping it with my teeth. “How does breath play work?”
“Well, it’s physiological, psychological, and physical, goddess. Physiologically, when your oxygen is low, you can get dizzy and lightheaded, and when the choke hold is released, you get another kind of rush. It releases that delicious cocktail I told you about that causes the exhilaration,” he explains.
“So that’s what caused one orgasm before you let go and then another one directly after. That was… new,” I reply. “And the psychological?”
He grins. “Classic power play. Your submissive was responding to my Dominant. In the physical, your body confused the endorphin and hormones rush as pleasure. In all actuality, that’s your body’s natural protection reactions, but when you’re doing it with someone you trust and love, the pain becomes pleasurable,” he tells me. “If you were a patient of mine,