and I am. I’m starved for her. I’ve been dreaming of this moment, playing it out in my mind for an entire year, and it’s finally happening. Finally reality.
“Neil, please!” she begs, and it breaks through my desperation, slices through the anxiousness to taste her and worship this sweet pussy. “Neil!” she cries, and this time her voice makes me pause. I lift my head, looking up her naked body to meet her eyes that are full of panic, and I immediately loosen my grip on her hips.
“What, baby? What’s wrong?” I whisper, and I take in the way her chest rises and falls in pants, her breasts moving with the action of her lungs.
“I… I’ve never done this before,” she says low, her voice full of worry, and I blink at her, wondering what the fuck she’s talking about.
“I…. What?” I prompt, not understanding.
She swallows thickly. “No one… no one has ever gone down on me before,” she confesses, and I blink up at her like an idiot. This whole time, knowing she’d been raped, knowing she’d been forced to take it everywhere she had to give, it never… not once… occurred to me that she’d never had the pleasure of someone’s mouth on her pussy before.
“Goddess,” I breathe, my face going soft, and she bites her lip innocently. God, she’d been through so much. How could she not have at least been warmed up with oral even once before? Not even that, but in my lifestyle, in my club, there were Doms who got off on forcing their sub to come over and over and over again by eating them until they lost consciousness.
But then I recall, Astrid’s ex was the only man she’d ever been with, and if he wasn’t one to enjoy going down on a woman, then he certainly never would have been the one to put his wants aside in order to bring only her pleasure.
And as infuriating as the thought makes me, as much as it elevates my desires to order up a hit to get Brandon suicided in jail, I’m also… grateful. This is one thing, one fucking thing that will be all mine. She’ll never have another memory of anyone else bringing her the immeasurable pleasure of oral sex. It will only be me. And somehow, it’s even better than if she would’ve been a virgin, untouched by anyone else’s hands but mine, because even that first time brings a woman pain. Oral though, worshipping her with my mouth, there is not one ounce of pain—at least the way I’ll do it for her. Only pleasure to be had.
“I’ve got you, goddess,” I finally say, my voice low and soothing, and I feel her legs relax infinitesimally. “Just lie back. And I’m going to worship you the way you’ve always deserved. You trust me?”
She meets my eyes, and I see her swallow nervously, but then she stretches her arms out so she’s no longer up on her elbows, and I see her nod once and close her eyes.
Now that I know this is her first time, the beast inside me backs down enough that I’m no longer raging to take her as quickly and ferociously as I can. I want to make this perfect for her, and I want to savor every single nuance of her experience. I take the first unhurried swipe of my tongue up from the very bottom of her entrance, not stopping until I circle her clit. Her entire body goes lax as if her bones disintegrated, letting out all the air in her lungs. As I suck her clit between my lips, her hands shoot to my hair. I glance up her still-wet body to find her head lifted, her eyes on mine just as I trace her clit with the tip of my tongue inside my mouth. Her eyes go wide, and her brows furrow as her lips part on a gasp.
I use all gentle strokes, long swipes, slow movements, and my hot breath to ease her into calming the anxiety every woman feels the first time someone eats her out, making a show of breathing her in. “Goddess, you smell like heaven. You’re more than I even dream of,” I murmur against her clit, making her feel my words as she hears them, and she shudders. And soon, there’s the telltale sign that she’s fully into this, her mind finally giving in to the idea of gaining pleasure from being eaten instead of just