Dirty Sexy Alphas (Twenty Book Box Set) - Hannah Ford Page 0,24

the next expansion. But I never planned on making it my home base. I hired a manager to run the day-to-day operations. But then things changed.”

I hated the way my heart twisted.

I hadn’t truly believed him when he said I came back for you. But until that moment, I hadn’t realized just how much I wanted to believe him.

He hadn’t spent his last few years thinking of me the way I’d been thinking of him. He would return to this town for his center, for his best friend. But not for me.

I tried not to think of the martini bar, of the way his colleague had smirked and joked about finding us in the closet, like Landon dragged girls into dark places all the time.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked.

He scrubbed his hand across his jawline, where stubble lined his chin. “It wasn’t my secret to tell.”

“Why didn’t he tell me?”

“Because he knew what it would do to you,” Landon said. “You’ve lived this before. He wanted to spare you. He was hoping to get through treatment, get to a place where it was in remission. And then tell you, when it was in the rear view mirror. When you wouldn’t react…”

“Like this?” I said, gesturing to my face. I was sure my eyes were bloodshot and my nose would be red. Plus, my skin always got blotchy when I cried.

He nodded.

“What am I supposed to do?” I despaired, running a hand through my hair. I wanted to scream.

“Let him tell you on his own terms.”

An ugly bark of bitter laughter escaped. “I’m supposed to pretend I don’t know? I can’t act normal around him after this.”

“He’s grappling with a lot right now,” Landon said, gently. “He didn’t tell you because it would only add guilt.”

“I can’t believe he wanted to go through this alone.”

“He’s not going through it alone,” Landon said.

His voice was surprisingly gruff. I glanced up, annoyance seeping in. I should be there for him, not just Landon. “What, like you’re some big emotional support system?”

“I’m not a cold bastard, if that’s what you’re implying. I’ve gone to every doctor’s appointment with him.”

It felt like the rug was pulled out from under me. I couldn’t picture him sitting in a doctor’s office, acting as emotional support. I knew they’d been best friends for years, but I’d assumed they’d drifted apart since he’d been gone. But this… this was something else.

He smirked. “You actually do think me a cold bastard, don’t you?”

“No,” I said, even though it was a little bit of a lie. “I just don’t picture you as…”

“What? Dependable? Loyal?”

I’d gotten under his skin, questioning him. There was an unexpected edge to his voice, like it irritated him that I had a hard time believing him.

“I don’t know, okay? I just can’t reconcile that version of you in my head.”

“That version of me? What version of me do you see, for that matter?”

I swallowed. “Successful. Driven…” my voice trailed off. “And yeah, maybe a little cold. You don’t get where you’re at so quickly without being a little ruthless.”

“In business,” he said, standing. “Ruthless in business. That doesn’t mean I turn my back on my friends.”

Just on your lovers, I wanted to add.

“Look,” he said, leveling his gaze on me. “You’re going to have to go home and pretend everything is normal. Give him some openings to come clean, but leave it up to him. It’s his decision. You need to honor that.”

I rubbed my face. “How do you suggest I give him some openings?”

“Ask him how he’s doing. What he’s up to. Remind him that you love him. If he wants to tell you, he will.”

I bit back the urge to sigh. “Okay. Sure.”

But I wanted more advice.

I wanted to know what I was supposed to do about the internship. How I was supposed to get on a plane for Dallas when my brother’s health could fall apart? How I was supposed to be excited for my dad and his promotion when I knew this would derail it all the second he found out?

“Hey,” he said, tucking a tendril of hair behind my ear. “His prognosis is good. It’s not like it was with your mom. It’s not the same.”

“It feels the same,” I said. “It feels like round two of a nightmare.”

Silence fell, and I stared down at my hands, wringing them in my lap. “I’m sorry I made you leave work.”

“You needed me,” he said, and it scared me. I had needed