A Dirty Job - By Christopher Moore Page 0,88

tried to get him out of there, but the dogs won't let me by. What are we going to tell his mother?"

"I want to keep him," Sophie said. Big kiss.

"His name is Matthew," Cassie said.

"I know his name. He goes to Sophie's school."

Charlie started into the room. Mohammed blocked the doorway.

"Matty, are you all right?" Charlie said.

"Uh-huh," said the chocolate-, cheese-, and dog-drool-sodden kid.

"I want him to stay, Dad," Sophie said. "Alvin and Mohammed want him to stay, too."

Charlie thought that perhaps he had not been strict enough in setting limits for his daughter. Maybe after losing her mother, he just hadn't had the heart to say no to her, and now she was taking hostages.

"Honey, Matty has to get cleaned up. His mommy is coming to get him so he can go be traumatized in his own house."

"No! He's mine."

"Honey, tell Mohammed to let me in. If we don't get Matty cleaned up, he won't be able to come back."

"He can sleep in your room," Sophie said. "I'll take care of him."

"No, young lady, you tell Mohammed to get - "

"I have to pee," Matthew said. He climbed to his feet and skipped by Alvin, who followed him, then under Mohammed and past Charlie and Cassandra to the bathroom. "Hi," he said as he went by. He closed the door and they could hear the sound of tinkle. Alvin and Mohammed bullied their way through the doorway and waited outside the bathroom.

Sophie sat down hard, her feet splayed out, her lower lip pushed out like the cowcatcher on a steam engine. Her shoulders started heaving before he could hear the sob - like she was saving up breath - then the wailing and the tears. Charlie went to her and picked her up.

"I-I - I-I, he - he - he - he - "

"It's okay, honey. It's okay."

"But I love him."

"I know you do, honey. It'll be okay. He'll go to his house and you can still love him."

"Noooooooooooooooooooooo - "

She buried her face in his jacket, and as much as his heart was breaking for his daughter, he was also thinking about how much Three Fingered Wu was going to ding him for getting the chocolate stain out of his jacket.

"They just let him go pee," Cassandra said, staring at the hellhounds. "Just like that. I thought they were going to eat him. They wouldn't let me near him."

"It's okay," Charlie said. "You didn't know."

"Know what?"

"They love the Crunchy Cheese Newts."

"You're kidding?"

"Sorry. Look, Cassie, can you clean up Sophie and Matty and take care of this? I have some stuff in my date book I have to take care of right away."

"Sure, but - "

"Sophie will be fine. Won't you, honey?"

Sophie nodded sadly and wiped her eyes on his coat. "I missed you, Daddy."

"I missed you, too, sweetie. I'll be home tonight."

He kissed her, got his date book from the bedroom, and ran around the apartment collecting his keys, cane, hat, and man purse. "Thanks, Cassie. You have no idea how grateful I am."

"Sorry about your mother, Charlie," Cassandra said as he passed.

"Yeah, thanks," Charlie said, quickly checking the edge of the sword in his cane as he went by.

"Charlie, your life is out of control," Cassandra said, now slipping back into the unflappable persona that they were all used to.

"Okay, I'll need to borrow your strappy black pumps, too," Charlie said as he headed out the door.

"I think I've made my point," Cassie called after him.

Ray stopped Charlie at the bottom of the stairs. "You got a minute, boss?"

"Not really, Ray. I'm in a hurry."

"Well, I just wanted to apologize."

"For what?"

"Well, it seems silly now, but I kind of suspected you of being a serial killer."

Charlie nodded as if he were considering the grave consequences of Ray's confession, when, in fact, he was trying to remember if there was any gas in the van. "Well, Ray, I accept your apology, and I'm sorry I ever gave you that impression."

"I think all those years on the force made me suspicious, but Inspector Rivera stopped by and set me straight."

"He did, did he? What exactly did he say?"

"He said that you had been checking some stuff out for him, getting into places he couldn't get without a warrant and so forth, stuff that you'd both get in a lot of trouble for if anyone found out, but was helping to put the bad guys away. He said that's why you're so secretive."

"Yes," Charlie said solemnly, "I have been fighting

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