closer, Charlie could head-butt him in the nads, he was sure of it.
The tall man stomped on Charlie's toes, a size-eighteen glove-leather loafer driven by two hundred and seventy pounds of death and used-record dealer.
"Ouch!" Charlie hopped his chair in a little circle of pain. "Goddammit! Ouch!"
"So you do have feeling in your feet?"
"Get it over with. Go ahead." Charlie stretched his neck as if offering his throat to be cut - his strategy was to lure his captor into range, then sever the tall man's femoral artery with his teeth, then gloat as the blood coursed all over his mint-green slacks onto the floor. Charlie would laugh long and sinister as he watched the life drain out of the evil bastard, then he would hop his chair out to the street and onto the streetcar at Market, transfer to the number forty-one bus at Van Ness, hop off at Columbus, and hop the two blocks home, where someone would untie him. He had a plan - and a bus pass with four more days left on it - so this son of a bitch had picked the wrong guy to fuck with.
"I have no intention of killing you, Charlie," said the tall man, keeping a safe distance. "I'm sorry I had to hit you with the register. You didn't really leave me any options."
"You could have tasted the fatal sting of my blade!" Charlie glanced around for his sword-cane, just in case the guy had left it within reach.
"Yeah, sure, there was that one, but I thought I'd go with the one without the stains and the funeral."
Charlie strained against his bonds, which he realized now were plastic shopping bags. "You're messing with Death, you know? I am Death."
"Yeah, I know."
"You do?"
"Sure." The tall man spun another wooden chair around and sat on it reversed, facing Charlie. His knees were up at the level of his elbows and he looked like a great green tree frog, crouched to pounce on an insect. Charlie noticed for the first time that he had golden eyes, stark and striking in contrast to his dark skin. "So am I," said the evil mint-green frog guy.
"You? You're Death?"
"A Death, not THE Death. I don't think there is a THE Death. Not anymore, anyway."
Charlie couldn't grasp it, so he struggled and wobbled until the tall man had to reach out and steady him to keep him from toppling over.
"You killed Rachel."
"I did not."
"I saw you there."
"Yes, you did. That's a problem. Will you please stop thrashing around?" He shook Charlie's chair. "But I wasn't instrumental in Rachel's death. That's not what we do, not anymore, anyway. Didn't you even look at the book?"
"What book? You said something about a book on the phone."
"The Great Big Book of Death. I sent it to your shop. I told a woman at the counter that I was sending it, and I got delivery confirmation, so I know it got there."
"What woman - Lily? She's not a woman, she's a kid."
"No, this was a woman about your age, with New Wave hair."
"Jane? No. She didn't say anything, and I didn't get any book."
"Oh, shit. That explains why they've been showing up. You didn't even know."
"Who? What? They?"
Mint Green Death sighed heavily. "I guess we're going to be here awhile. I'm going to make some coffee. Do you want some?"
"Sure, try to lull me into a false sense of security, then spring."
"You're tied the fuck up, motherfucker, I don't need to lull you into shit. You've been fucking with the fabric of human existence and someone needed to shut your ass down."
"Oh, sure, go black on me. Play the ethnic card."
Mint Green climbed to his feet and headed toward the door to the shop. "You want cream?"
"And two sugars, please," Charlie said.
This is really cool, why are you giving it back?" said Abby Normal. Abby was Lily's best friend, and they were sitting on the floor in the back room of Asher's Secondhand, looking through The Great Big Book of Death. Abby's real name was Alison, but she would no longer tolerate the ignominy of what she called her "daylight-slave name." Everyone had been much more responsive to calling her by her chosen name than they had been to Lily's, Darquewillow Elventhing, which you always had to spell for people.
"Turns out it's Asher, not me," Lily said. "He'll be really pissed if he finds out I took it. And he's Death now, I guess, so I could get in trouble."