A Dirty Job - By Christopher Moore Page 0,137

mess and put things back on their shelves. Minty Fresh stood by the front door, wearing shades, looking entirely too cool for the destruction that lay strewn around him. Sophie was content to sit in the corner and feed shoes to Alvin and Mohammed.

"So," Cavuto said to Charlie, "some kind of flying monster came through your window and you thought this would be a good place to bring your kid?"

Charlie turned to the big cop and leaned on the counter. "Tell me, Detective, in your professional opinion, what procedure should I use in dealing with robbery by a flying monster? What the fuck is the SFPD giant-fucking-flying-monster protocol, Detective?"

Cavuto stood staring at Charlie as if he'd had water thrown in his face, not really angry, just very surprised. Finally, he grinned around his cigar, and said, "Mr. Asher, I am going to go outside and smoke, call in to the dispatcher, and have her look that particular protocol up. You have stumped me. Would you tell my partner where I've gone?"

"I'll do that," Charlie said. He went into the office with Lily and Rivera and said, "Rivera, can I get some police protection here at my apartment - officers with shotguns?"

Rivera nodded, patting Lily on the hand as he looked away. "I can give you two, Charlie, but not for longer than twenty-four hours. You sure you don't want to get out of town?"

"Upstairs we have the security bars and steel doors, we have the hellhounds and Minty Fresh's weapons, and besides, they've already been here. I have a feeling they got what they came for, but the cops would make me feel better."

Lily looked at Charlie. She was in total mascara meltdown and had smudged her lipstick halfway across her face. "I'm sorry, I thought I would handle it better than this. It was so scary. It wasn't mysterious and cool, it was horrible. The eyes and the teeth - I peed, Asher. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, kid. You did fine. I'm glad you had the sense to get out of its way."

"Asher, if you're the Luminatus, that thing must be your competition."

"What? What is that?" Rivera said.

"It's her weird Gothy stuff, Inspector. Don't worry about it," Charlie said. He looked through to the door and saw Minty Fresh standing at the front of the shop, looking at him, shrugging, as if saying, Well? So Charlie asked: "Hey, Lily, are you seeing anyone?"

Lily wiped her nose on the sleeve of her chef 's coat. "Look, Asher - I, uh - I'm going to have to withdraw that offer I made you. I mean, after Ray, I'm not sure I really ever want to do that again. Ever."

"I wasn't asking for me, Lily." Charlie nodded toward the towering Fresh.

"Oh," Lily said, following his gaze, now wiping her eyes with her sleeves. "Oh. Fuck. Cover for me, I've got to regroup." She dashed into the employee washroom and slammed the door.

Rivera looked at Charlie. "What the hell is going on here?"

Charlie was going to try to come up with some kind of answer when his cell phone rang and he held up his finger to pause time. "Charlie Asher," he said.

"Charlie, it's Audrey," came the whispered voice. "They're here, right now. The Morrigan are here."
Chapter 26
26

ORPHEUS IN THE STORM SEWER

Charlie parked the van sideways in the street and ran up the steps of the Buddhist center calling her name. The huge front door was hanging askew by one hinge, the glass broken, and every drawer and cabinet had been opened and the contents scattered, every piece of furniture overturned or broken.

"Audrey!"

He heard a voice to the front of the house and ran back out on the porch.

"Audrey?"

"Down here," she called. "We're still under the porch."

Charlie ran down the steps and around to the side of the porch. He could see movement behind the lattice. He found a small gate and opened it. Inside, Audrey was crouched with a half-dozen other people and a whole crowd of the squirrel people. He scrambled into the crawl space and took her in his arms. Charlie had tried to keep her on the line during the drive over, but a few blocks away the battery in his phone had died, and he had tried, for those few terrifying moments, to imagine losing her - his future, his hope - after his hope had just been awakened again. He was so relieved he could barely breathe.

"Are they gone?" Audrey asked.

"Yes, I think so. I'm so glad

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