bludgeon me all over again. Callum was quiet in his grief, locked up inside himself with just the occasional outburst, but for me it bled wild.
“You should go,” he said. “You’ve got work and shit.”
“I haven’t. They suspended me.”
“Why?”
“Doesn’t matter now.”
He didn’t push it and I didn’t share.
“It’s all fucked,” he said. “All of it. Got a fucking exhibition tomorrow, all my paintings and shit. I dreamed about it when I was a little kid, and now it’s all fucked. Can’t do it now she’s like this.”
I smiled, but it wasn’t a happy smile, not really. “You’re at the new Southbank complex.”
“Dunno. Yeah, maybe.”
“No maybe about it. It’s the biggest event of the year. I know, my parents built the fucking place.”
“Don’t matter now, does it? Won’t be going.”
I reached out to touch him, the slightest touch of my fingers on his knee. “Of course it matters. You have to go, it’s your big break.”
“Won’t mean anything now.”
I sighed, a long sad sigh that rattled in my chest. “No matter what happens here tonight, Callum, that art means something. Don’t let it go.”
I kept quiet, letting his demons battle it out for themselves. So quiet that it came as a shock when he spoke again.
“Me mam threw me out first time when I was fourteen. Didn’t have nowhere to go. Jimmy was dead, and I didn’t have no one else.”
“She wouldn’t let you back home?”
“Too proud to ask, even then.” He sighed. “I remember her telling me to get out, told me she hated me. Felt fucking rough. Didn’t show it, like. Played tough, but it fucking hurt. Ain’t never spoke about it before.” His eyes met mine, hard. “That stuff with your sister felt like it was happening all over again.”
I flinched inside. “I was a stupid cow trying to keep up appearances. I’ve been doing that my whole life.” I leaned my head on his shoulder. “Hurting you was the last thing I wanted.”
“Don’t matter now,” he said. “Thought it would be me and her missing you, but now you’re here and she’s fighting to get back to us.”
Fresh tears pricked my eyes. “Puts things in perspective, doesn’t it?” I paused awhile until I could speak the words aloud. “I’m going to tell my parents about us, Cal. Push me away all you like, I’m going to tell them anyway.”
He reached out for my hand, squeezed it tight. “You’re upset over Case, that’s all.”
“It’s got nothing to do with Casey.”
“She brought us together, didn’t she?” he smiled. “Best thing that ever happened to me.”
“Yes, she did. And loving her has brought us back together, Cal. Don’t let all this be for nothing. It can’t be for nothing.”
“What now, then?” he said. “I’m off the fucking rails here, Soph. Got no fucking idea.”
“We work it out,” I said. “Like families do.”
My beautiful savage took my hand, and finally the vet arrived.
***
Casey’s tail wagged ever so slightly, but it was enough. Her eyes were focused, smiling up at us as we stroked her face.
“She’s a real fighter,” the vet said. “Didn’t give up.”
“Of course she wouldn’t,” I smiled. “She’s like her owner.”
“We’ll need to keep her in a few days,” the vet concluded. “Run some tests on her kidneys and take some blood samples. She needs to rest and recover, so please leave her with us until she’s well enough to go home.”
“Hear that, Case?” Callum said. “You’re gonna come home, just as soon as these nice people have done some tests on ya.”
Her tail flicked again, happy, like she understood every word. Maybe she did.
I hugged her tight before we left, and waited for my beautiful savage outside. I couldn’t wait to take him home.
***
I didn’t flick the light on. Callum reached for the switch himself but I stopped him, intercepting his hand with my fingers in his.
“Don’t think,” I said. “Just feel. Feel me. I’m right here.”
His arms were crushing, wrapped tight around my waist as he buried his face in my neck. I felt him shudder.
“I need to tell you something,” he whispered. “About Vicki. She wanted me... and I... I couldn’t...”
I smoothed his hair. “It doesn’t matter now.”
“I didn’t fuck her,” he said. “Couldn’t. There was only you, Soph. You’re the only one I ever wanted.”
He was so compliant as I took his clothes from him, dropping them onto the floor like dead skin as I pulled him along the bedroom. The sun was beginning to break outside, bathing us in the softest hue of dawn.