Die for Me (Killing Eve #3) - Luke Jennings Page 0,39
We could use your input. And correct me if I’m wrong, but I sense that you would welcome the challenge of a new world order. The old one didn’t do a great deal for you, after all.”
“You’re sure I’m not too… what was it you called me this morning? Ordinary?”
“Eve, we were all in a different place this morning. I think you’re exceptional.”
I shrug. “OK.”
As if I had the ghost of a choice.
Somehow, the meal draws to a close, and Oxana steers me back to her room. I can hardly place one foot in front of the other. Oxana’s snoring within a couple of minutes, her arms out-thrown, her mouth wide open, but I’m so tired that I can’t sleep. The stitches don’t help. The painkillers and the wine have kicked in, reducing the pain to a hot, dull throb, but I still get a warning stab if I move too suddenly.
What have I agreed to? Is any one of us going to get out alive? From Richard’s apocalyptic tone, and his talk of the danger of the mission, I would guess not. None of the foot soldiers, anyway. Richard himself, of course, is another matter. If one thing is certain it’s that when the smoke clears he’ll still be standing there, Old Etonian tie knotted, urbane smile in place.
And yet I said yes. Whatever the project involves, it must surely include the murder of at least one prominent figure. It seems strange that Richard should want me to be part of the team. He probably just wants me on board to keep Oxana happy, or as a way of controlling her.
It’s weird. On the one hand I know that Richard’s speech is brassy, echoing bullshit. That all this talk of golden ages and spiritual rebirth is just cover for what will undoubtedly turn out to be one more squalid political coup. On the other hand, there’s something perversely thrilling about being locked into a conspiracy with Oxana. For all its horror, this is her world. I knew that when I abandoned my own. And was it really so ridiculous, Richard’s talk of destruction and rebirth? Hadn’t I done the same thing myself? Destroyed my old life to make way for my truer, darker self?
I turn over in bed at the same time as Oxana and we collide in a confusion of limbs.
“Go to sleep, stupid,” she murmurs blearily.
“I’m kind of terrified,” I tell her. “And my back hurts.”
“I know.”
“They’re going to kill us. They’re just making us do one last job for them first.”
“Probably.”
“What do you mean, probably?”
The bedclothes shift as she raises herself on one elbow. “I mean that you have to live in the present, pchelka. I’ve told you this before. Right now, we’re fine, and we need to sleep. You especially. Tomorrow, when we’ve cleared our heads, we’ll make a plan.”
“Aren’t you afraid?”
“How do you mean? Of what?”
“Of everything that might happen.”
“No. I’m not afraid. We’ll find out soon enough what they want from us, then we can figure out our next move. Right now they need us, and that’s all that matters.”
I reach out in the dark and feel her face. The line of her cheek and her mouth. I touch her lips and she bites my finger. “You’re enjoying this,” I say. “We’re on this insane death ride, totally out of control, and…”
I feel her shrug. “You know what I am. Read the textbooks. They’ll tell you that people like me are very bad at processing threat.”
“Is that true?”
“No, it’s bullshit. What’s true is that we don’t get fucked up. We stay calm and focused. We get our sleep, and we live to fight another day.”
“So you’ve read psychopathy textbooks?”
“Of course. All the so-called important ones. They’re actually quite funny. All those creepy guys desperately trying to figure us out. You know, don’t you, that all the case studies are male? They just assume that female psychopaths work the same way.”
“They get it wrong?”
“All the time.”
“Give me an example.”
She yawns. “Like, for a start, they say psychopaths aren’t capable of falling in love.”
“And are they?”
“Of course they are. I mean, I love you, baby bee.”
I can’t speak. Oxana reaches out and I feel her hand close over my heart. “Listen to you,” she says. “Boom, boom, boom. You’re so sweet.”
“Why didn’t you say?”
“Why didn’t you say, dumbass? You do love me, don’t you?”
“I… yes, of course I do.”
“Well then, there we go. Now turn over, so that I can spoon into you, and go