Devrim's Discipline - Brianna Hale Page 0,27

sleepless nights, and I’m sure that something is me. “I’ve been trying with Aubrey.”

Her expression softens. “She says you’ve tried talking to her, but it’s confusing her. You’re so stiff and unhappy. She doesn’t know what you want.” She purses her lips, and then seems to change her mind about what she was going to say. “Can I please go? We’ve got nothing to say to one another.”

I step closer to her, wanting dearly to touch her, but keeping my hand on the wall. “I insulted you while we were dancing. That wasn’t my intention.”

She shrugs, as if she doesn’t care, but her fingers tighten on her upper arms. “You’ve been locked up half your life, and just when you think you’re finally going to get lucky, you’re interrupted. Twice.”

“Wraye,” I growl through my teeth. “That’s not why I’m frustrated.”

“No? Then what is it?”

I ball a fist and press it against the bricks. “Because I want you. Seeing your face and hearing your name is torture.”

“Don’t follow me to breakfast. Change the subject when Aubrey talks about me.”

I step closer again, just inches from her now, and her lips part. “What if I don’t want to?”

Her lower lip trembles as I lower my mouth to hers.

At the last second, she turns her face away. “It’s not in me to be someone’s dirty little secret. I want something real.”

Then I’ll give her what she wants. I haven’t got time to waste. “Don’t be a secret. Marry me.”

Wraye breathes in sharply. “You reckless idiot. You’ve been out of jail for five minutes.”

She can call me every name under the sun, as long as she promises to be mine. She opens her mouth, but I cover it with mine, claiming the kiss I’ve been craving from her. Wraye comes up on her toes and wraps her arms around me, kissing me as if her life depends on it.

Then she tears herself out of my arms and pushes me away. “You’re crazy. Being your wife would be worse than being your mistress.”

“Do you think I’d let anyone humiliate my wife?” I reach for her, again, but she steps back, turns and walks quickly away. Her chin is lifted, and her shoulders are squared, the effort she’s going to seeming painful. I watch her until she’s out of sight, then lean a shoulder against the wall and scrub a hand over my face.

She’s too young for me and too low in rank, but all she needs to do is say yes, and I’ll figure the rest out.

I’ll show her I can fix anything when I put my mind to it.

I turn back toward my car, walking quickly. When I get home, I head upstairs, taking them two steps at a time. Aubrey’s bedroom door is half ajar, and I push it open. She looks up at me in surprise.

“Oh, hello. Where have you been?”

Instead of answering, I go and sit at the edge of her bed.

“Daddy?”

My hands clamp to the mattress on either side of my body. I take a deep breath, every instinct telling me to get up and walk out, rather than relive even one second of the past.

“I met your mother when I was twenty-six,” I say, staring at the carpet. “We’d known of each other most of our lives, but we’d never talked.”

Aubrey sits up slowly. “She said you didn’t like to dance. In fact, you were terrible, and she had to teach you.”

My mouth quirks. I’d forgotten about that. “She was a good teacher. We barely knew each other when we were engaged, and we were married six months later. It was how things were done, then. In our circle, at least. The First Families. I didn’t have time to fall in love with her, but I thought we would. She was someone I could have grown to love.”

Aubrey seems to sense that this is difficult for me and doesn’t ask questions.

“I think she felt the same way about me. I hope she did, anyway.” I smile ruefully at my daughter. “I wish I’d known her better. During those first few years in prison, her visits kept me sane.”

My daughter smiles tentatively at me. She doesn’t need to know the next part of the story. Not now, and maybe not ever.

Moira bribed the guards so she could visit me. We’d been stripped of all our assets, and under the People’s Republic she lived in a dirty little apartment, but she’d managed to smuggle her jewelry out of Levanter House and