his hand, I feel like dying from embarrassment, so I’ve been avoiding him like the damn plague.
The good thing is, I successfully managed to hide from everyone.
After that afternoon from hell, I felt like my life’s suspended in a slow passage of time and I needed to gather my thoughts alone or run the risk of losing myself.
Julian was right, I was losing everything and everyone and that left me feeling more than a little lost. I couldn’t pin down a single thought, let alone keep up with everything else going on around me.
So, I hid from my aunt who’s been looking for me everywhere.
I hid from Julian’s mom who I heard shouting and cursing at her ex-husband in the house about how he was a sorry excuse of a man, bringing strays into her house.
And that was when Nicky the hair snatcher stepped in. It was a shouting match that I didn’t want to witness. Hell, I didn’t even have the guts to see my mother while she was awake. I stayed away, every word Julian said about me ricocheting in the recesses of my mind.
I can’t bring myself to face her afraid that she’ll see how much my life is spiraling out of control. And that maybe, I caused all of this. I’ve been kissing by my enemy all the while feeling like there’s more in the shadows about to come out to finish me off.
I can’t help but feel like the worst is yet to come. It’s making me sick to my stomach with worry.
Every night since moving into the Fitzgerald mansion, I’ve sneaked into our old house like a little thief. It’s mostly bare now, empty and cold covered in dust with one or two old items still laying there abandoned, out of place and sad.
It’s crazy how fast a void can creep into a place you once called home, but that feeling of comfort never really goes away.
I haven’t heard from Dad in days. I haven’t talked to my mother in that many days. My head’s been spinning with so many horror stories that I can’t talk about or voice because it’ll only make it all real. So, during the day, I fake it with the best of them at school. Laughing out loud, being the freaking best dressed, prettiest hero of Clintwood A., when in the back of my mind, I know I’m the central plot of an attempted murder.
Yeah, everyone loves me, worships the ground I walk on, blah, blah, blah… but I know better. Shane Matthews watches me because he knows I’m onto him. As for Kristine, she’s been throwing snide remarks at me more, and I shut her down with as much enthusiasm.
Then, at night, I sneak into a house that’s been repossessed, then silently trudge to the studio and dance my soul out with music playing through my AirPods.
It’s there that I allow myself to feel the pain, but never let it overwhelm me.
I allow myself to fail but I never accept it, getting back up to dance.
Then I’d go visit Liam as often as I could. Usually after school, I’d sneak into his hospital room and spend my afternoons forgetting about the outside world.
The surprising thing about my growing relationship with Liam is that I enjoyed his company. He made me laugh. He made me forget. He was just so authentic, and we have so much in common. It’s been easy to grow fond of him.
I’d update him about how shady Shane is and he’d tell me that Julian’s working on something but keeping secrets from him too.
It made me think of the conversation I overheard between him and Cole. Julian is keeping something from his brother, but for some reason, I think that secret is there to protect him.
Liam was so much like his brother, but in a way, uniquely himself. I can’t really call him a friend yet, I mean, he’s still a Fitzgerald whether I saved his life or not. I’d sooner eat disgusting In-N-Out burgers before I trust him.
After that I’d slip into the Fitzgerald mansion, feeling like an imposter being watched. I don’t know if there are people watching the house now or if it’s my own paranoia, but I never feel alone there.
But right now, I have several eyeballs watching me, ready for me to break a leg—literally.
Sucking in a deep breath, I keep my pose, making sure my spine is straight, head back and chest out. My body is at ease as