Devil's Ride (Royal Bastards MC Tonopah, NV #3) - Nikki Landis Page 0,34

too distraught to pay attention to what happened. I heard Acid’s voice and his triumphant laugh. Bodie’s cry of suffering. Grim’s roar of rage. It was all too much.

Rising slowly to my feet, I could feel Suraya’s blood soaking into my clothes and dripping onto the hardwood floors of the Blacktop. Dazed, I didn’t know which end was up. Shocked and traumatized, I couldn’t speak. I didn’t recognize anyone or anything around me. My entire body was shaking and wouldn’t stop.

Spooked, I ran. If anyone followed, I wasn’t sure. If was hurt in the process, I didn’t care.

All I knew was that my life would never be the same ever again.

***

A week later I stood in front of the Crossroads with Grim. He found me after I ran and brought me here, spending every moment with me until the shock wore off and I could begin to process what happened. There was no way to describe what it was like to watch someone die. A piece of my soul was altered in a way that could never be fixed. I felt lost. Broken. Terrified.

Grim promised Acid and the Scorpions would suffer for what they did to Suraya, but I didn’t want to hear it. My heart closed off from him and the entire fucking world. I couldn’t handle what I’d seen. Devastated, I couldn’t even face Sasha. I didn’t speak to her until I had to tell her where Suraya’s body was. It was a dark day.

Bodie left and no one heard from him. He was the only one who felt her loss like I did.

The funeral, holding Sasha’s hand the entire time, returning back to the apartment. It was all a blur. I didn’t know one day from the next. Sasha and I slept in the same bed. Neither of us could function. Both completely ripped apart by Suraya’s murder.

The Royal Bastards MC sent members to watch over us at all times. I grew used to their shadow, but they remained at a distance. Sasha never showed her face. She remained hidden from the world and I didn’t blame her. Neither of us wanted anything to do with bikers or anything that reminded us of how Suraya died.

The toll was heavy on my relationship with Grim. We grew apart. I couldn’t talk to him. Everything was a mess. He stopped by one afternoon after days of silence. His expression was sad, and I already knew how the conversation would end. “We need to talk.”

I nodded, letting him inside and we sat at the kitchen table. “You’ve got something to say.”

“Yeah.” If I didn’t know him better, I would have sworn tears filled his eyes. “You’re suffering, angel. It breaks my heart.”

I shrugged. There wasn’t a way to respond to that.

“I think we need a clean break. It’s too much to come to the Crossroads. You’re hurting and I can’t seem to make it better.” His head hung down. “Forgive me, Trish. I never wanted this.”

“I know.” He didn’t mean for it to happen, but I knew violence was the inevitable conclusion. MC life wasn’t for me. “It’s too much.”

“Yeah. It is.” He stood slowly. “I want you to stay in touch. You need anything, you call. I don’t give a fuck. If it’s within my power, I’ll do whatever I can for you.”

“I appreciate that.” My voice was flat. Lifeless. I should be feeling more but I couldn’t. My heart stopped feeling the same moment Suraya’s gave out.

I had nothing to give. Not even for myself.

“Baby.”

I looked up, meeting the gray irises that held the emotion I was unable to touch. Too far buried in my soul to find.

“I want you to know that I don’t regret a single second we had together. Not one.”

I had so many regrets I didn’t know where to start but loving Grim? That wasn’t one.

“I don’t regret us either,” I whispered, my throat tight.

He pulled me to my feet and his arms surrounded me in a gentle embrace. “You ever want to talk about this again, I’m here. Maybe,” he faltered, “Maybe in the future . . .”

He didn’t finish. It was left open. A tiny spark of hope we both wanted to cling to.

“Maybe.”

Grim tilted my chin up and pressed a kiss to my lips. “You’re never alone. I’ll always have someone watching. Until I finish Acid, you’re still under my protection.”

I needed that. “Thanks.”

When he left, I didn’t know how to process it. Nothing made sense in my world and it