Devils' Day Party: A High School Bully Romance - C.M. Stunich Page 0,176

not breathe again.

When I collapse in tears at the hospital, I must pass out, and seconds later …

There’s blood all over my steering wheel.

I’ve never been so happy to be so wrong.

Clearly, this fucking time loop isn’t done with me yet.

For ten days I try this timeline in varying flavors.

Ten.

And on every single one, I’m happy. I spend time at home, I confess to the boys, we spend a night together naked and under the stars.

Then somebody dies.

That first night, it was Barron. The next night, I get a call from Luke that April had an accident. Then Raz. Calix. My mom. Luke. Calix, again. Barron. Barron. April.

Tonight … Luke.

My phone is clutched in my hand, the text message from April still showing on the screen.

You won’t answer, but this can’t wait. Luke is dead. I need you, Karma. I need you.

With a scream, I throw my phone as hard as I can into the trees. I took off from the boys as soon as I got the message. I just need to be alone right now, just for a second.

I punch the trunk of the nearest tree as hard as I can, sinking to my knees in the leaves with a sob. My knuckles are bleeding, but I don't care. No matter what I do, somebody always gets hurt, somebody always dies.

Closing my eyes and letting my head fall forward, I pray for the universe to just take me. Send me to the next life or to heaven or hell or wherever it is that souls go because I can't take this anymore. I can't make the perfect day happen over and over, if only to see my friend die.

Or Pearl.

One of the boys.

One of my friends.

One of my family.

What do I have to do to end this? At this point, it feels like I've tried everything. Everything. Fucking everything.

But then I realize … that that isn't true.

There's one thing that I haven't tried.

Dread fills me as I collapse against the side of the tree, my eyes staring into the darkness of the woods as the laughter from the junkyard drifts my way, the smoke from the bonfire curling against the inky blackness of the night sky.

There's one thing that I haven't tried, that in my right mind, I would never try.

If there's one thing I do know, however, it's that the universe demands balance.

Life cannot happen without death.

“Shit.”

I close my eyes and lean my head against the tree, praying for sleep to claim me. Fortunately, I'm so exhausted that it doesn't take long. Unfortunately, it sends me right back to the gas station, and to what I'm certain is going to be my final Devils' Day this year.

It's not the destination, is it? I think as I wake up and see the blood all over my steering wheel. It's the journey. I've been fighting like hell to claw my way to my final destination: tomorrow. But that doesn't mean I haven't enjoyed so many moments in the past month, too many to even count.

Painting with my mothers, cooking with my sisters.

Laughing with Luke, and getting to know Pearl.

Punching Erina in the face.

My lips twitch at that last thought as I reach out and hit the lock on my door. Calix grabs for the handle just a moment later, and, unlike on the many other days I've locked my door on him, I roll the window down and turn to glance his way.

Fuck, this sucks. Why does it have to be this way? Why does today have to be my last day?

But in my heart, I know it is.

It’s time.

“I forgive you,” I tell Calix, before the words can fester inside of me. I've needed to say this for a hell of a long time. He pauses and lets go of my door handle, looking down at me with dark, unreadable eyes. “I shouldn't have hit your car, but I saw your face as I was driving past.”

“Are you fucking insane?” he asks me, right on schedule, but with much less heat than usual.

“You looked sad and lonely, Calix, and you're not allowed to look that way, not when I was willing to love you.” I glance up at him and smile tightly. It's just occurred to me that there's always at least one constant here: sacrifice. When one event in my life tends to go right, others tend to go south. I can't have it all; I have to choose. As much as I was loath to do