I looked between Chase and Sven, trying to will my heart to keep from hammering its way out of my chest. Jumping to conclusions could crush me. Plus, I’d known Chase for not much more than a year. Granted, it had been one of the most intense years of my life.
“You have a request for me?” My mouth defied my brain as I uttered the words, internally begging him to be the groom. Or . . . not to be the groom. What if he was marrying someone else? Finally going ahead with his plan to please his family, but with some other girl? Was that why he’d been so nice and weird with me this week?
God, what if it was Ethan that was Katie’s groom, and I’d just jumped the gun? My head was spinning. I needed to sit down. Chase offered me a curt nod. I needed more. I needed words.
“Please say something,” I said, my mouth cotton dry. “Anything. I’m freaking the hell out.”
Chase scratched his eyebrow. Such a mundane thing to do, but I’d never seen him do that before. Look unsure or contemplative.
“You’ve been planning your wedding since the day you were born. I know because I asked your father. I asked your father because I drove to Pennsylvania last week to meet him. I met him because I’ve been trying to figure you out. I think I did.”
“You did?” I blinked.
“You’re the type to go for public love declarations. You want the big, messy, multicolored fairy tale. I’m not sure if it can get any more public than what I’m about to do here.”
Sven clapped his hands excitedly from the corner of the room, jumping up and down. “He is channeling his inner Hugh Grant. I’m so here for this.”
Chase shot him a look, then turned back to me.
“I was just wondering if . . .” His eyes ran down my cleavage in the dress, and a smirk twisted his lips. Like he’d found his footing. I needed him to do that. Find his footing. Talk.
“If?” I tried to keep my voice neutral.
“If I could be the lucky bastard to destroy this masterpiece with my teeth while half-drunk and fully in love with you on your wedding night.”
“Oh,” I breathed.
“Oh,” he repeated, his smirk widening. “I’m also wondering if I could be the man to hold your hair when you puke and not be the reason you got stupid drunk in the first place.”
My breath stuttered in my chest. It reminded me I had terrible breath. As if reading my mind, Layla slid two pieces of gum into my hand, then took a step back. I shoved them between my lips. Minty. Chase continued.
“I’m wondering if we could get engagement photos together, somewhere that doesn’t smell like the eighties, maybe, without having to worry you are about to leave there and go on a date with some bastard in a funny tie and a pair of tights—no offense, Ethan.” He turned and winked at my ex-whatever-he’d-been-at-the-time.
“None taken, I guess.” Ethan shrugged from beside Katie, holding her hand. I laughed through my tears. That was the best, worst marriage proposal I’d ever heard, and Chase wasn’t even done yet.
“Wanna know what else I’m wondering?” He cocked a brow.
“Dying to.” I laughed through my tears.
“I’m wondering if you could look at me the way you did the first time we met. Like I was a real possibility. With raw potential to be something you wanted for yourself. I want to be your every fucking thing, until we bring a replica of both of us into this world and become slaves to them, because you’re into having kids and shit.”
I cackled. And cried. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I drank him in, hopeful and boyish and dashing, with his imperial height, tar-black mane, and sparkling eyes that were never exactly the same color and always kept me on my toes. He took my hand. He was trembling, and for some reason, it undid me.
“In short, I’m wondering if, since you have your wedding dress stitched to your own measurements and some flowers I kept alive for you—by the way, they were a real bitch to keep alive—you would maybe want to marry me. Because, Madison”—his eyes twinkled with mischief and excitement and a promise to make my future brighter—“I called you Mad because I was mad about you and didn’t even realize it until you walked away. After you did, I kept thinking