“Speaking of funerals.” Julian took a greedy breath, avoiding eye contact as he picked up a batch of black Post-it Notes from my desk and began thumbing them nervously. “Telling everyone about Ronan . . . that was horrendous. I apologized to him. Assured him I won’t be dipping my toe into the CEO scheme anytime soon. Just thought you should know.”
I said nothing. Understandably, I was suspicious. He threw his head back, staring at the ceiling with a sigh.
“I just wanted something of my own.”
“You had something of your own. A wife. A daughter. A good career.”
“A wife who hated me despite my trying to please her in every way. A wife whom I’d promised would become a CEO’s wife and, when it appeared that my promise was not going to get fulfilled, constantly threatened to leave me. I wanted the chief executive position because I thought it meant keeping Amber. She and Clemmy were the only things I had that you didn’t. In trying to keep them, I neglected them, spending all my time at work. And now I’m getting a divorce.” He threw his arms in the air, laughing bitterly. “Irony is a bitch.”
“You can still have Clemmy. All she knows is you as her dad. As for Amber, I can sincerely say shoving your dick into a paper straw will give you more satisfaction than being with a woman who only wants you for your wallet and status. Even you can do better than that.” I wasn’t prepared to console my brousin after eating shit from him for three consecutive years, but kicking someone while they were down wasn’t my style.
“Anyway.” I arched an eyebrow when it became clear Julian wasn’t going to move an inch until I kicked him out. “I have work to do. Text me where to pick Booger Face up.”
He got up, looking around him like he was forgetting something. Maybe his manners. He should’ve knocked. He also should have apologized for the past three years. Being remorseful meant jack shit without an official admission.
“You know, Chase, you’re not so bad.” He stopped at my door.
I stared at him blankly. “Thanks for the lukewarm endorsement. Isn’t not so bad synonymous with I’ve met bigger shitheads?”
He snorted out a laugh. “See? That’s what I mean. I always thought you had no heart, which made villainizing you easier. You seem so detached from everything around you. You walk around with this broody dark halo around you. Almost like the devil.” He frowned. A shiver ran down my spine. That was how Madison referred to me. I’d thought she was joking. I didn’t think so now. “But I realized it was just you being you. And that you are capable of caring for people. You care about Lori and Ronan, Katie and Clemmy.”
And Madison. I cared about Madison too.
In fact, a part of me wasn’t so sure I was vastly different from my ex-girlfriend. In some ways, I, too, went out of my way to please the people I cared about. That was why I put so much on the line for Dad. But unlike Madison, my people-pleasing tendency had made my mouth write a check my ass couldn’t cash. I’d promised Amber marriage. And gotten slapped in the face with her betrayal.
But I was still a sucker for those I loved.
I would always have my family’s back.
Julian sent me a hopeful glance. Oh, for fuck’s sake. Just when I thought we were treading carefully out of Jerry Springer territory, he went and got all Brady Bunch on my ass. I couldn’t catch a break. I took a deep breath.
Say it.
It’s going to taste like turd, but you need to say it.
He is family.
“I care about you too.” I tried not to grit my teeth too much around the sentence. Julian’s eyes lit up. I got it. In his mind, we’d been fucking him over, giving him the Black name without the perks, so he’d rebelled. It wasn’t an excuse for his shitty behavior, but it was the incentive.
“That so?” he asked.
“Seems that way.”
“Does that mean I get to keep my CIO role?”
Or maybe he just wants to cover his ass and secure his job.
“Too soon,” I warned.
“Thanks, bro.” He gave me a wink.
I waited until he got out of my office, then gagged.
I made a stop at Croquis to pick Mad up. Sven was by the elevator bank, rubbing an employee’s pregnant belly like it was a crystal ball and gushing about babies.