not an easy thing, Justine. Do you know what that does to you, the weight on your soul when you take another person’s life? You’d see it in your nightmares for the rest of your life.”
“I wouldn’t think twice if it meant saving you.”
“Then you’re a fool!”
Her skin burned, the words like a match to her insides. “No, I am in love with you!” she shouted.
Horrified, she covered her mouth with her hand, almost as if she was afraid of what else might escape. She hadn’t wanted to tell him this way. Not until she knew if the feelings were reciprocated.
He traded his empire for my safety. The feelings had to be reciprocated. There was no other explanation for what he’d done.
He staggered backward, his skin losing whatever color it had. “Impossible. You cannot . . . love me.”
No reason to deny it now. “Too late, because I already do.”
“You shouldn’t.”
She tried to mask the hurt at his reaction. If she’d expected a grand declaration of his feelings, well, the more stupid her. “I do not expect you to return my sentiment now, but it is my hope it’ll grow to happen over time.”
“There’s no chance of that. You said it yourself, this is my world, not yours. You don’t belong in it, do-gooder.”
Frustration and anger boiled over. “I don’t know where I belong anymore! I feel like I am between two worlds. I went to the police with the ransom note and they wouldn’t help me. They said it was better for the gangs to fight it out amongst themselves. So I went to Cooper and instantly had an army of men ready to save you. I’m confused, but the one thing that makes sense is you. Whatever you do next, whether it is a brewery or a business, I want to be there with you.”
“Whatever I do next?” He lifted his arms and let them fall. “Justine, I am plotting to kill O’Shaughnessy. That is what I am doing next. I am reclaiming my empire.”
“But . . .” Her stomach sank. “I heard you give your word.”
“Just like O’Shaughnessy gave his word that he’d allow me to walk out of there? We’re liars and thieves. We cannot be trusted.”
“Please, Jack. Do not kill him. Do not be that man. You are better than that.”
He gave a gruff, bitter-sounding laugh. “No, I really am not.”
“You are. Promise me you will not kill him.” He said nothing, so she pressed her case. “Don’t you see? This is your chance. You could walk away. Disappear. We could go somewhere together. Be happy, just living away from the city.”
“I can’t do that. This will always be hanging over my head. Waiting to come back and destroy whatever life I’ve managed to build for myself. O’Shaughnessy cannot let me keep breathing. He knows my men would follow me again in an instant. He will track me down if I don’t get to him first.”
“So you are choosing this”—she swept her arm to indicate the hidden house—“over a future with me?”
“You were right to walk away. There’s no happy ending for a man like me, one with enemies everywhere. And I cannot allow that to ruin your life. You deserve better.”
“You are making decisions that affect me without my input. What about what I choose?”
“I won’t do it, cara,” he said softly. “I watched you put yourself in danger, hold a man at gunpoint, and I was terrified that you’d be hurt and I wouldn’t be able to prevent it. Whatever this is between us ends today.”
Her throat closed, as if to prevent the hurtful words from reaching her heart. Yet, they did. They sank into every part of her to weigh her down and slice her open. She struggled to speak. “You cannot mean that.”
His bright eyes were dull, lifeless as he approached. “I do.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and loomed over her. “Go out and save the world, mon ange. I am beyond saving.”
He strode past her and she heard him race up the stairs, his feet thumping on every tread. As if he couldn’t get away from her fast enough.
Tears gathered in her eyes and she blinked at the pins scattered at the end of the alley. Evidence of Jack’s destruction, she supposed. Much like the pieces of her heart.
“You are a goddamn fool.”
Jack looked up from his whiskey and glared at Rye, who’d just stormed into the room. “Don’t say it.”