Devil in Disguise (The Ravenels #7) - Lisa Kleypas Page 0,89

her a bleak glance. “I always knew I’d have to pay for my sins in some future cosmic reckoning. But in my arrogance, it didn’t occur to me that a man never bears the cost of his sins alone. The people around him—especially those who love him—have to pay as well. That’s the worst part of it.”

It was the most vulnerable he’d ever allowed himself to be with her.

When Lillian replied, her voice was uncommonly gentle. “Don’t be unduly hard on yourself. Ever since you married Evie, you’ve tried to be the man she deserves. In fact, you’ve inhabited the role of a good man for so long, I think you may be growing into it. We become our choices, eventually.”

Sebastian regarded her with a touch of surprise. “Throughout this entire godforsaken mess, Lillian … that’s possibly the most comforting thing anyone has said to me.”

She looked smug. “You see? You should have told me at the beginning.”

His lips twitched, and his gaze returned to the window. “I’m sure I’ll regret asking this,” he said, “but was Keir in Merritt’s room when you found her?”

“Yes,” Lillian replied dourly.

“Were they—”

“Yes.”

Sebastian winced. “That must have been a shock.”

“I wasn’t shocked by what they were doing so much as I was by Merritt’s recklessness. Taking a man into her bed in broad daylight? It’s not at all like her. She’s behaving as if scandal can’t touch her, and she knows better than that.”

“So does Keir. But they’re both moonstruck. You remember how it is in the beginning.”

She grimaced. “Yes, a state of derangement with chapped lips.” Folding her arms across her chest, she heaved a sigh. “Tell me about this young man. Is he a silk purse or a sow’s ear?”

“He’s pure gold. A big, fearless lad … engaging and quick-witted. Admittedly, the manners are a bit rustic, and I can’t speak as to hygiene: so far, grooming him has been a collective effort. But all in all, a fine young man.”

“And how is he with Merritt?”

Sebastian hesitated before replying. “No one outside a relationship can ever know its inner workings. But from what I’ve seen, it has the makings of something durable. They talk easily. They pull together in adversity. Many marriages have started with far less, including mine.”

Lillian nodded, seeming deep in thought. “Is marriage on the table? Would he be willing to do the right thing by her?”

“He’d cut off a limb if she asked him to.”

“Good. She’ll need the protection of his name. Or someone’s name. Merritt has flouted convention one too many times since she became a widow. Rumors of this affair will be the final drop that makes the cup runneth over. As we all know, there’s nothing society loves more than tearing down a respectable woman who’s broken the rules.” She hesitated. “I’m afraid for her sake.”

In all the years of their acquaintance, Sebastian never heard Lillian admit to being afraid of anything.

“Nothing will harm Merritt,” he said. “A score of eligible men would offer for her tomorrow if she’d have them. But I think she wants this one.”

Lillian shook her head distractedly. “My God, Sebastian. She chose her first husband with such exacting care, and now it seems likely she’ll end up with a man she hardly knows and has nothing in common with.”

“Common interests can be acquired,” he pointed out. “What matters most is having similar values.”

“Oh? What values do you and Evie have in common?” But the question sounded teasing rather than mocking.

Sebastian thought for a moment. “She and I have both always wanted me to be happy.” As Lillian laughed heartily, he offered an arm to her. “Shall we rejoin the others?”

“No, I’m going to walk out to the cove and do some thinking. You may tell the other two I’ve regained my sweet temper and am no longer breathing fire. And don’t fret over things you can’t change. ‘Life must be lived forwardly.’ That’s from a philosopher Marcus has taken to quoting lately, I can never remember the name.’”

“Kierkegaard,” Sebastian said. “Life can be understood only by looking back, but has to be lived forwardly.”

“Yes, that’s it.”

“I’ll keep it in mind.”

Impulsively Lillian gave him her hand, and he held it in a brief, warm clasp.

“Pax, old friend?” Sebastian asked gently.

Her lips quirked. “After thirty years, we may as well give it a try.”

Chapter 30

KEIR SAT NEXT TO the firepit at the sandy cove, watching shore birds feed. Dunlin, plovers, and stints ran delicately across the wet sand to peck and probe

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