Devil and the Deep (The Ceruleans Book 4) - Julie Ann Walker Page 0,71

had all night. But in a life filled with transgressions, what’s one more?

“Did I…” She wrung her hands. “Did I bump into it when I—”

“No,” he assured her. “It wasn’t you.” It’s me. It’s all me. Everything that’s wrong, everything that can never be, that’s all me.

“I should’ve brought the first aid kit.” She shook her head at herself. “We could go back to the ranger’s station and—”

“No.” The idea of going back to the ranger’s station where there was an empty bed was as terrifying as it was tempting. “The pain will subside in a second.”

“Well, at least let me check it.” And then, before he could stop her, she was down on her knees in front of him.

Chapter 17

9:22 p.m.…

Maddy reached for the little metal cleats holding Bran’s Ace bandage in place. But she dropped her hands when she saw her fingers were shaking so badly that she reckoned if she tried to perform her Florence Nightingale routine, she’d bumble the whole gosh-darned thing.

The story he’d told… Sweet heavens…

She didn’t know what to ask, what to say, what to do. And she was completely overwhelmed by a whole host of emotions. There was sorrow for all he’d endured. Anger at the savagery of a world that had forced him to withstand it all. Helplessness that there was nothing she could do to change what had happened. And sadness that because of his past, she would never get the chance to find out if he was…the one.

And there it was. She’d been avoiding putting a name to it. The one. Her one.

Except…he wasn’t. He didn’t want to be. He wouldn’t let himself be. Because of all he’d endured. Because of all this savage world had forced him to withstand. Because there was nothing she could do to change what had happened.

And around and around it goes…

She screwed her eyes closed and mourned the loss of him. Which was silly. She’d never had him to begin with.

But I had the hope of him.

Opening her eyes, she reached for the soiled Ace bandage, but Bran’s voice, so soft and low, stopped her. “Please leave it.”

She glanced up and their gazes collided. Just…wham! It was a blow that nearly knocked her on her ass. She flung out a hand to steady herself against the side of the lighthouse. She wasn’t sure what she’d expected to see in his face, but it certainly wasn’t bone-deep, soul-deep hunger. The kind of hunger that started wars, toppled kingdoms, and changed the history of the world. The kind of hunger that was saved for women like Cleopatra and Helen of Troy, not for Madison Powers.

All her pain and sorrow and regret were momentarily scorched away by the fire burning in his dark eyes. Every hair on her head stood up as if she’d grabbed hold of a live wire. And her skin felt ten degrees too hot, so hot she wondered if she was feverish, delirious, imagining things.

“Bran?” Was that her voice? She’d never heard it so husky.

“Sorry,” he gritted, his jaw sawing back and forth. “It’s just that you were…” He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. “You were pressed up against me a second ago. And you’re so soft. And so sweet. And so…everything.” Her heart grew wings and flew right out of her chest. “And now you’re down on your knees in front of me. And we might be friends, but I’m also a red-blooded man, babe.”

And now her stupid heart wasn’t just flying, it was doing loopty loops. She jumped to her feet. The idea she’d been toying with earlier solidified in her head. She knew what she wanted to do. Knew what she had to do. It was the only option left to her.

“Friends with benefits,” she blurted.

Bran had a way of going completely still that was unnerving and slightly…predatory. A smarter woman might have backed away from the danger flashing in his eyes. She took a step closer, closing the distance between them until they were toe-to-toe.

“W-what?” he asked slowly, a muscle ticking frantically in his wide jaw.

“We should be friends with benefits,” she said, lifting her chin even higher.

She could tell the idea shocked him by the slight narrowing of his eyes, the way the muscles in his face seemed to tighten. But beneath that shock was intrigue and maybe, just maybe…excitement. She decided to press her case.

“Look,” she said. “There’s all this…tension between us. This crazy, sexual tension, right?”

He didn’t say anything, just stood there, stock-still,