Deviant (Boys of Winter #3) - Sheridan Anne Page 0,47
carpet as he makes his way toward me.
The need to back up slams through me, and by the time my shoulder blades hit the door, Carver finally reaches me. His arm raises above my head and he props himself against the hardwood. His heavenly scent consumes me. He’s just showered and there are still a few droplets of water sitting against his strong abs making my fingers flinch at my sides.
Carver leans into me, tempting me, teasing me with a good time, but I see it in his eyes, he’s not ready to cave and neither am I.
He gets closer but doesn’t dare touch me as my gaze travels over his body, scanning over his perfectly sculpted torso and dropping low to where his thick cock rests heavily in his hand.
Seeing what has my attention, he strokes his hand up and down, teasing his tip with his thumb and giving a firm squeeze.
A soft, desperate moan slips from between my lips as I clench my thighs harder, urgently needing to relieve the ache that builds between my legs. “What’s the matter?” Carver murmurs, his head dipping low beside my face as his unruly hair brushes along the soft skin of my collarbone. His voice rumbles right through my chest, the vibrations hitting me like a wrecking ball. “Have you changed your mind?”
My eyes close as I breathe him in, tilting my head as the satisfaction of being this close to him rocks through me. I’m so tempted to throw it all away just for this night with him, but I won’t dare. What I have with Cruz, King, and Grayson is too good. I’d be a fool to give that away.
No. I can’t. If I’m going to go there with Carver, then I need to wait until I can do it right. There’s too much to lose.
I shake my head, hating how the pain shoots through me at having to tell him no. All this time, it’s been him rejecting me, but not this time. This time, it’s his heart that’s going to ache, and for some reason, that makes it so much worse. “I can’t,” I whisper. “I won’t throw away what I have with them for a night with you.”
The tip of his nose brushes along my skin and I sink into him, needing so much more as his warmth begins to wrap around me. “It’s not just a night, Winter. Be with me. I need you.” He breathes in, and as my heart continues to ache, he goes on. “Seeing you bleeding out … and knowing that I did that, it opened my eyes. I have to have you in my life. I can’t lose you again. I won’t.”
“But you don’t share.”
He shakes his head. “I don’t.”
Tears threaten to well in my eyes, but I hold them back as my hand slips behind my back to grab hold of the door handle, far too stubborn to allow Carver to see me break right now. “Then you have no choice but to lose me,” I tell him, my voice breaking as a lump grows in my throat and threatens the oxygen flowing in and out. “As much as I want that too, I won’t give them up for anything.”
Carver pulls back so his intense stare is locked on mine, and even in this darkened room, I can still make out every little speckle of brown, green, and gold deep within his eyes. Without a single word, he reaches around me and his hand finds mine over the door handle. He twists, and not a second later, the door pops open behind me. He takes a step back, allowing me space to open it properly and walk out.
I don’t look at him, fearing what I might see in his eyes, and fearing that if I did, I would take it all back and run straight into his warm arms.
I step out of his room, the cool air in the hallway stealing my breath, and as the door slams shut, the finality cripples me. Standing out in the hallway, I struggle to put the distance between us—the distance we so desperately need. So, I just stand … stand here as my heart shatters into a million pieces.
A second passes, and then another, and after a minute, I finally feel as if I can maybe hold myself together. So without missing another beat, I storm down the hallway with my head an absolute mess and push through King’s bedroom door.