Deviant (Boys of Winter #3) - Sheridan Anne Page 0,4
four of you keep putting me on a pedestal, but I’m not that strong.”
“You are, Winter. You’re a fucking Ravenwood, and I know this is all on me, and I’ll fucking live with it for the rest of my life, but you’re not dying today. You have too much left to do.”
Pressure comes down on my abdomen and I clench my jaw as the pain continues to rock through me. “I’m scared,” I tell him, hating the words as they come out of my mouth. I’ve always prided myself on being strong, always strived to push myself harder, and I’ve done everything I possibly can to hide my weaknesses, but Carver sees through it. He’s been able to see my vulnerabilities since the day I first met him. He knows me better than I know myself. He’s the reason I was able to survive in the beginning.
“I know,” he murmurs as the paramedics step in beside him and take my arm to start an IV. Hopefully, they'll get some pain relief pulsing through my system. “But you’re not as fucking terrified as I am. If I lose you …”
Carver lets the words fall away, but I don’t need him to finish them. I know exactly what he’s saying because I feel it too. The idea of one of the guys being taken away from me is the most painful thought that I’ve ever had, and right now, all four of them are fearing that exact thing.
Carver is right. I have to fight this. I have to make it because if I don’t, the boys will be shattered and I refuse to do that to them.
I have too much to do in this world. Too many battles to win.
My eyelids grow heavy and I wonder what the fuck the paramedic put into my IV, but I don’t get a chance to ask as my world quickly begins to fall away. “Sleep, Winter,” Carver tells me, keeping my hand tucked safely between his. “Just make sure you come back to me. This isn’t the end, not yet.”
CHAPTER 2
The soft, rhythmic beep of my heart monitor sounds through my room as consciousness comes back to me, telling me that somehow, I made it. I defied all the odds, and for some reason unknown to me, I’ve been granted the chance to live another day.
My eyes peel open and the fogginess inside my head quickly sets in, bringing on a migraine that makes me desperate for the darkness again.
It was peaceful in the darkness. It was quiet and I didn’t have to think about anything. Nothing existed but me. There were no dickheads trying to kill me, no evil mothers trying to take me out, no bastards trying to drown me in my pool or shoot me in the woods.
I was safe in the darkness.
“Fucking hell, babe,” I hear Cruz sighing from beside me just as his warm hand curls around mine. The relief is evident in his tone and completely overwhelms me with the best kind of warmth. “You scared me for a while. Are you good? What do you need? Should I call your doctor?”
“Jesus,” King grunts from my other side, his tone flat, forceful, and exhausted. “Give her a fucking chance to wake up. She just got out of surgery.”
“She’s been out for over eight hours,” Cruz snaps back. “She’s just fucking with us now. I’m done waiting. I need to check that she’s alright.”
“She’ll wake when she’s fucking ready to wake,” Grayson’s booming voice calls through the room, coming from the end of the bed.
My face scrunches as the sound of their conversation thunders against my aching head, feeding my migraine and reminding me just how human I really am. I'm nothing special. I'm not Superwoman. Though these guys would disagree. For some insane reason that I haven’t figured out yet, they think the sun shines out of my ass, and for that, I’m thankful. They make me feel things I never thought I’d be capable of feeling, and it’s so much more than I ever dreamed for myself.
“Would you all shut up? My head is fucking killing me.”
“Shit,” Cruz rushes out with a small gasp, practically launching off the seat beside my bed to get even closer, looking right at my face to see my eyes open just a slither. “You’re awake?”
“Barely,” I grumble, my lips stretching into a grimace as every word that comes out makes me feel as though I’m slamming my head against a brick wall.