Deviant (Boys of Winter #3) - Sheridan Anne Page 0,146

just to figure it out.”

“Thank you,” I whisper, feeling completely broken and alone, despite the four boys standing around me.

Cruz steps in beside me, placing his hand on my lower back. “We told you from the start that you couldn’t trust anyone in this world,” he reminds me. “We just never realized just how far that was supposed to run.”

I tip my head to meet King’s stare as the tears begin to run from my eyes. “He really was working against us?”

King nods and pulls me in against his chest. “He really was,” he murmurs, holding me tight. “I’m sorry. We didn’t intend on you finding out like this. We were planning on telling you when this had settled down. We just wanted to find a way to explain it all without hurting you, but I guess that plan is all shades of fucked up.”

I wipe my face against King’s chest as the smell of Carver’s cologne strengthens in the air and I pull back to find Carver standing right at my side. “Please don’t hate me,” he murmurs. “The thought of not being able to touch you kills me. Don’t push me away.”

I meet his dark gaze and stare right into his eyes, hating the wall that’s sliding in between us. “Why did you have to do it? Why not King?”

Carver gently shakes his head. “I couldn’t let King go through the pain of killing his own father. After all, he was still the man who raised him. Cruz … no, and Gray … he could have done it, but it would have weighed on his shoulders. It had to be me and I had to do it then. He was getting too close to you, and I swear to you, Winter, I fucking hate that we decided to keep it quiet from you, but you’re the most important person in all of our lives and the thought of you hurting over this …” he shakes his head. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t risk it any longer. I spiked his drink with cyanide and stood back to watch him die.”

I release my hold on King and turn to face Carver directly. I bite the inside of my cheek, feeling the awkwardness between us and desperately wishing that I could take it all away, but at the end of the day, he did it because he loves me and I’m the one who has the issue. I’m the one who’s hurt when I should be thanking him for taking the burden on his own shoulders instead of sitting back and letting me get played.

I step into him and let him curl his arms around me, and the second he pulls me into his chest, the floodgates open. “I’m sorry,” I cry, hating how weak and vulnerable I feel, but know that if at any time in my life that I have to be vulnerable, I’m glad that it’s with them and not someone who would take advantage of me.

Carver’s hand roams up and down my back as Grayson’s low voice sounds through the big room. “Are we cool?”

I nod against Carver’s chest, feeling like I’m snotting all over his suit. “I really want to hate you all, but I can’t.”

“Need some time?” Carver murmurs, knowing me better than I know myself.

I nod again and focus on breathing in and out, desperately trying to calm myself. “Time would be great,” I grumble. “But so would ditching the party and getting drunk on the beach.”

Cruz laughs, grabbing my arm and yanking me out of Carver’s. “There’s my girl,” he booms, pulling me in hard against his chest and crushing me under the strength of his impressive arm. “I thought we lost you for a second.”

“You’ll have to try harder than that.”

Cruz passes me off to Grayson who wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me into his side. “Give me ten,” Cruz says with a wicked grin stretching across his too handsome face. “I’ve got to break the news to Mom that I’m bailing. She’ll cry on my shoulder for a bit, then kick me out for making her cry in the first place.”

“Shit,” I say, biting down on my bottom lip, slightly horrified by how okay he is with that. “Then maybe we should stay. I don’t want to upset her.”

“Don’t even think about it,” he hollers through the room, making his way to the door. “Mom will understand.”

Just as Cruz’s fingers curl around the door handle, five phones begin screeching