hospital in time for them to stop the toxins spreading through her body.
An unfortunate tragedy was what they’d called it.
Already on the verge of tears from the onslaught of memories I both cherished and wished I could forget, I reached into my first box for the day. My fingers brushed over something hard with raised edges, and the lump in my throat grew when I realized what it was. Picture frames.
Tears burned my eyes when I started unpacking them. I paused to trace Katherine’s face with my fingers before gently placing each one on our new mantel. There were several of my sister when she’d been pregnant with Katie, some with just the two of them or the two of us, and some with all three of us grinning at the camera like goofballs.
This sucks so darn bad. There hadn’t even been any warning. No time to prepare or say goodbye.
One minute, she had been with us, laughing and trying to be the best mother she could be, and the next, she was just gone.
All of a sudden, there were phone calls from the hospital, doctors, and lawyers. Katie’s father had never been in the picture. He wasn’t really a stand-up guy and Kat had made the choice to be a single mother.
I knew how hard that choice had been for her, but it was the right one to make. She’d always been able to make the right decisions, even when they were the toughest ones.
The next thing I knew, I had been appointed as Katie’s legal guardian. While trying to juggle my own devastation and grief, I suddenly also had to take care of a shattered, confused five-year-old in mourning.
Katie was my world, and I only ever wanted to do what was best for her, but I wasn’t convinced I was really it. Katherine had chosen me for the job, and because I knew how much my sister had lived for her daughter, I knew it wasn’t a decision she would have made lightly. It was an honor really.
But it was also a responsibility I hadn’t been prepared for. All my choices about Katie were second-guessed. Even moving out here to the suburbs.
The neighborhood was cute and charming. A lot of kids lived on this street and it was close to the school Katherine herself had chosen for Katie, but in the back of my mind, I always wondered if this was what Katherine would’ve done.
Would she approve of the decisions I made? Would she think this was the right choice? Would she have preferred those pictures to go in Katie’s room or would she be happy with them on the mantel?
It was a constant struggle, and one that felt like it would never end. Not until they installed phone lines in Heaven and I could finally ask my sister all my questions. Unfortunately, last I heard, no one was making any progress on those lines of communication.
Another heavy sigh came out of me, but then I heard little footsteps coming down the hall, and I pulled myself out of my moment of sadness. While I was definitely still struggling to come to terms with everything that had happened, I was the adult in this situation.
Somehow. Who let that happen? I mean, me? An adult? I need to speak to the manager.
But I was the adult, and I refused to let Katie see me grieving for her mother when she herself was only just starting to smile more often than she cried. She was the bravest, most resilient little girl on the planet.
I knew it was important not to hide all my emotions from her—I’d been told by all the counselors that it was important for her to know she wasn’t alone in her grief—but I also didn’t want her to have to deal with the wreck I became whenever I opened one of their boxes.
Katie, now seven and becoming way too smart, came around the corner into the living room with her arms spread wide at her sides. She turned in a slow circle, a proud grin on her face as she showed off her Halloween costume.
“I look just like a real farmer,” she said, her chest puffing out when she came to a stop. “One day when I’m a farmer for real, I’ll get to wear this every day.”
“You look amazing.” I set my coffee down beside the photographs and went over to give her a hug.
“Thank you for getting me the outfit,” she said with her